Third 👁️ Eye Spy

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2021-08-06 00:53:00 (UTC)

Its blah

Blaaaah.....

I was trying to think of a song to sum up stuff but couldn't find one. I reckon it's a leakage of generally not giving a fuck.

Yeah, I do my bit for the spiritual realm, for people here but it just gets boring for the last forty odd year's. I managed to get through rapes, beatings, fucked up parents, fucked up so-called friends, ridiculously textbook narks, pervy bosses, wanky men, wanky women, even the fucked up animals find me. All lost and want to be found types, all look how big I am controlling you types. All the happy fists, and swinging rapey cocks taking without asking.

And the funniest thing of all? Not a single one of those understood kindness, understanding, compromise, turn a blind eye. None.

Because you see, despite it all, them all and fuck all, which is the general gist of their efforts and thought patterns.

I still remained kind, compromising, understanding but I also learnt extremely well how to switch off, I can turn-off my emotions with one thought. I feel nothing then, it's my coping mechanism. Not to avoid people but to just know when to turn-off when I know they're barren of kindness, understanding and compromise.

So, I walk solo because doing so, avoids all the fake happy people, people with agendas, and people who hate on me because despite all the people and their silly bullshit - I built a fortress and independence through hard work and dedication to myself and my daughter. Loving me, loving us with the fountains of all my best bits of me.

I will always try things once even twice or three but no more. I am wise, I have notches, lots of them. Experiences through life that have turned me into a walking lie detector. Inner eyes that see beyond the skin, and it used to have a purpose but now? Now, it doesn't matter because my skins too thick to let it be penetrated. I'm just not interested in people any longer. I don't care what they're doing, who they're with, where they're going. I don't care of my lack of interest in anybody bothers the people who are trying to get close to me.

I just want to be left alone to do my thing, which doesn't include other people. And I certainly will not be dating anymore, utter waste of time. Humans waste my time, and talk a ton of shit as well as make up some amazing life, lol primitive world.

Ed, text me he has covid. I don't care.
Prime keeps trying to fuck me, I ignore him. His latest text, "Have you gone off me already?" I ignored him, I was never into him in the first place. I don't care.
Not heard from Sarah, I don't care. Indifferent.
Even members of my family, I don't care what they're doing.

All I care about is the people (very few) who give consideration and care of how I'm doing. And even then im sparse. I've seen and learnt to much about the secrets of the human race and the majority are not worth the energy.

And no, nothing has happened. I'm not writing this because somebody irritated me. I've felt this way for a while now, slowly I have been introverted more and more and I find it rather superb.

I've also got lost inside a ps4 game where you're stranded on an island and have to survive. I've lasted 52 so far. Even built a crop farm on my island, huts, fires, looms, tanning racks, rafts, engines, and been hunting shark, octopus, fish, boar, crabs and rattle snake's......i fucking love it!! Although, I've been soo close to dying many times without water or food, but I use the land to create, cloth, water, food. Visited five other deserted islands so far that I got supplies from shipwrecks too....the islands have zero people, only animals and nature.

Take Me there!


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