Somewhere I Belong
The day you are born. I don't know why humans celebrate birthdays.
The last birthday party I remember enjoying was when I was just a little boy. For me a birthday party is incomplete without a birthday cake and has to be chocolate. Then some chicken sandwiches. Some potato chips or wafers you call them. Some Fanta or Pepsi. And plenty of most importantly tomato ketchup to go with the wafers and sandwiches. I used to take it all in my small paper made plate. Sit in a corner or with someone and eat. Then play some games and then if you're related or something help the kid open presents after everyone's gone. Focus was on kids.
Then as we grow we lose those friends and make new ones. With more of them we can't have a party at home. So we have it outside. I once went to a birthday party of a friend in one of the ballrooms of a four star hotel. There were hundreds. Humans. I bet they were more of parents friends than the birthday kids. It didn't feel like a birthday. It like seeing McDonald's go from colorful decor for kids to this boring dull shit we see now.
I've never had a party after the one I had when I was a kid. As I grew I had less friends. I was shy. Skinny. Self esteem nil. I see so many posts and people all around brining in their birthdays. Never had it. Being alone for so long I don't see that day as a celebration. Over the years I've began to dislike all celebrations in general. It reminds me how lonely I am. And it sucks.
My birthday I wish nobody remembers it. I wish it was just another day. Being depressed and having birthdays doesn't matter much. Humans wish me and then they disappear as quickly and silently as they came. I rather they not wish me at all. Like once in a year your shower me with blessings and rest of the year we strangers...wtf is that all about.
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