Gentleman ♀

I Hate Middle School
2021-08-05 06:59:18 (UTC)

A List Of Everything I Hate About Myself Right Now

1. I hate my personality, I'm always angry and negative and sarcastic and I hate myself for it. I make everyone feel awkward and I radiate second-hand embarrassment
2. I hate this list, I feel like a try-hard making this list. Like I'm asking for others' pity and saying that my problems are more important than theirs and that's why I'm making them look at this.
3. I hate my clinginess, I feel like everything I do I'll look back on in a horrible light asking myself why I did it in the first place.
4. I hate my insecurity, why do I even feel pressured to appease my future self? She doesn't even exist yet and I still feel like she hates mem judging every move I make.
5. I hate my sister, everything my fault, and never my sisters. She randomly attacks me or my friends and I, by default, provoked it.
6. I hate my mom, all she ever does is criticize me. I feel like she's always looking at me, picking me apart bit by bit, looking at every flaw, and monitoring them looking for the right time to point them out. She always has something to say, good or bad, and it scares me.
7. I hate my dad, he's so unpredictable emotionally and it's anxiety-inducing. One day he's calling you cames and can barely look at you cause you don't want to go to soccer practice, and the next you give him a random hug and he's crying.
8. I hate my family, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, always judging me. Coming to every dance recital, every soccer game, seeing every drawing I've ever made, every outfit I've ever tried on, every friend I've ever made. I can never catch a break.
9. I hate school, everyone's so smart and I'm so stupid. They know my grades, they can read my face, they know I have no friends, they think I'm ugly, they can hear me think, they know I'm about to cry, they hate me.
10. I hate "love", all my friends have had boyfriends and have gotten love confessions except me. Maybe I'm just ugly, maybe my personality sucks, there has to be a reason right? Maybe I'm just not pretty, or smart, or funny, or even good enough. I'm just a problem.