Thing is, this diary was never meant to be used this way.
If anything, it was just a substitute for the diary on my phone; something I could use during school, a time when I wasn't going to be able to use my phone.
I've only ever used diaries to get rid of, or note my thoughts when they clouded my mind to an extent that I didn't like or felt was too much. I was never supposed to start thinking about whether or not my thoughts were 'worth writing/typing down'. My back hurts. I guess it's a matter of worrying. I worry about things that most definitely are not my problem, or cannot be helped. Like what someone may think of me after seeing my notes, the thing is, I made this public, so there's no point in fretting over something that doesn't matter. I don't know any of the strangers that might happen upon my ramblings. And they might know my mind. But we'll never meet. Fact over worry.
My head is kind of throbbing. maybe from staring at a screen, maybe from reading, maybe from playing music in my ears all day. I think I'm done with omegle and discord stuff. I get ignored or whatever and bounce. That's just how it is. The music I'm playing right now is great though.
I remember, yesterday, I said I'd be silent today. I think that I want to live a slower life. To not be so pressed to get out of what I have going on. To do things one at a time. Not skipping cutscenes type of slow. I'm going to go to bed, hope to wake up at around 9am. I want to get my sleep schedule a little back on track. Just a little. I also want to be quiet tomorrow. Calm. Collected. Slow. Silent. Not blasting whatever noise I can out of my mouth, with music, with my fan, nothing. I'll probably read, and play games, and watch tv, and listen to music, but maybe without killing my head. I'll leave that as school's job.
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