I drove him over to the ..
I drove him over to the brigade today at 3am. His ringer sounds like my alarm clock and I thought he was answering my alarm as I came out of sleep. It's 9 now and his flights been delayed to 12. Im extremely sad and it's hard to even feel. It's hard to even breathe. Cola licks my tears as I write this. I regret not going home, but at the same time I like to be here. What do I do without him. Being alone is not for me. I miss that he's not going to hang his coat on the rack while he's gone. I miss that his foot prints won't be on the bathroom mat while he's gone. I miss how I'm not going to cook for him. I miss how we won't brush our teeth together. I miss how he won't walk through the backyard gate while I'm sitting in my hammock. I'm going to miss a lot more. And I'm going to cry a lot more. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I won't be as sad. Hopefully tomorrow I can at least keep it together til noon.