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Ezoic
2021-08-03 05:51:09 (UTC)

sleepy

My sugar high (? it may have just been a mood) wore off. Or I'm finally sleepy. I don't know, since this has happened in the middle of the day too. But whatever it was, it wore off. That eagerness to do and conquer. My head hurts, I think. I have no more energy to talk. Or play. Or read. No energy to forget how many mistakes I made today. I'm just sleepy. That's what staying up until 6am does to you. I have nothing else to say. Today (yesterday*) I woke up too late, brushed it off because 'nothing matters', ate some, drank some, played some, watched some, talked some. I feel disgustingly alive right now.
I'm just going to listen to music until I fall asleep.

Tomorrow I want to act as though everything I do matters. Not that I care about everything, but simply that I should act as though it does. For once, think. Maybe if I start the day with a low mood, it'll remain with me throughout the day. Lower energy, or whatever I'm feeling now, helps me remember the negatives. So that I don't act as though my actions don't have consequences.


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