Third 👁️ Eye Spy

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2021-08-02 01:21:54 (UTC)

You’re the chosen one

Johnny texts me while I was still in the cinema. I see his message when the film ended, "How was your day? Sorry, for the slurred speech. Genuinely tired and zonked, I wasn't drunk. Just oddly tired :-)" I reply, "Still out at the mo x" He responds, "Out? Out where? Who with? Who with out where? Out where who with? Permission to go wasn't granted. Who gave permission?" I reply, "Me. Just came out of the cinema with my daughter and her friend. Watched suicide squad 2. Gotta drive now." Johnny replies, "Tut tut." I'm not phased, I do as I please.

We get home and all settle in and Johnny and I start texting, him cracking his usual banter and spouting bullshit. I just roll my eyes, he has a lot he keeps hidden. The stuff he doesn't want to face, mostly emotional things. However, he does tell me things, personal things, family stuff, and he can talk about certain things. I often show him snippets of my insight inside him, what he is hiding, but I don't push it or overstep the mark. I know when I am because he becomes bewildered by my insight, then starts cracking jokey remarks to get off subject.
He has A LOT of unspoken emotional junk inside him. It's no wonder he behaves how he does, but I do understand this. Not because I have done this, I expel those things from past traumas. I cannot work with the spirit if I didn't, emotional things block my second sight. It's the only thing that blocks it and when I say block it, I mean disconnect me from them entirely. And the years of growth I have learnt from them to work with them, to use while I am here has been important for others who I have met, I'm a vessel and I need the path clear.

Johnny wanted to talk to me on the phone again, so we stopped texting and started talking. We spoke more about his time when he was a drinker, he clarified some things to me. He is a vegan also, he became vegan when he gave up drinking a year ago. He claims he didnt start drinking to hide pain, he just loved to party and drink and as time went by he become addicted to it. Johnny is a very good looking man, he has never been short of female attention and experienced a lot but nowadays, the drink, the sex wore off.

He told me about his mum's death, from cancer. How in her last days, her mouth was black inside. He was married for twenty years had five kids, four girls, one boy. Only the boy all now young adults see's him. And he goes onto say to me "You are you know, the chosen one" and I say, "What do you mean? He replies, "You're are the chosen one, for me." He went onto say some other nice things to me, about me, but I take it all with a pinch of salt. I am unattached to any notion of me being the one for anybody. I have purpose elsewhere, doing other things unrelated to a relationship, romance, love etc. I am a young at heart 43-year-old woman soon, and I have resolved to the fact that it's alright and quite relaxed being without love, romance, or a relationship. It's never been something I have had the privilege of experiencing in its authentic self, it has never been offered to me. And even those fleeting moments of exhilaration, lust and excitement, have long left the remembrance of the sensations I once felt. It took me by surprise the feeling of feeling again in that way with 'my ex guy' and even then it wasn't authentic, just a snippet.

I am a trusting woman because I don't tar everybody with the same brush, and I offer a branch but unfortunately, people cannot be trusted and they show me this time and again. So there is no point in distracting my direction in other ventures and wasting my time and my emotional equilibrium for an inconsistent person.

Film was good though! Lol, we all enjoyed it :))