If I die today
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2021-08-01 10:08:44 (UTC)

cold medicine

Started allerga D this morning I had the 12hr by mistake instead of 24 hour was able to take it this morning between 8 and 9 after I woke up. Slept from close to 10 all the way thru with some amaon brand niquil. Even thou its not bendry/ benofin/dyphermain how ever you spell the names of that I did still get some muscle burning cramp like pains and reactions but no cough was induced or anything like that but enough that I am uncomfortable to continue using that nighttime med whch I should be fine. Im pretty hyper now I did have 2 or 3 cups of coffee that I made and 1 tea. I'm feeling mentally like something is off I'm too intense but not in a bad way. but I am extreme I did find myself yelling at the c-19 commerical telling us all this brain washing bullsh!t that the mediccal system is using to control us. Anyhow I think the medical system betrayed us big time. nDea tried to get mee to go with him to visit or stop by his duaghters and I guess he was suggestion I can sit in the car if I wanted I'm not sure I cant read beteen the lines but he kinda seemed like he wanted me to go. I told him I'm sick and we argues about that weather or not im actually sick and to be fair there is a small air quailty issue and lets face the realirty I dont feel I'm sick enough to stay away but the truth is I dont want to cross the seamonster bounery that I guess I'm the olny one that set but hey I dont want her in my house why should I go to hers. Althou I dont know what to do or even reasonably excspct his daughter to do if Im going to be part of thier family. Mentally socially emotionally I am overwhelemd by her mother and the idea of being in her house exspecially since she isnt welcome in my living quaters wheater I am home or not. I still lack trust. Anyhow didnt walk the dog or excersize today. My brain is going and going. I'm watching the end of monk now while nDea is visting so going to pay attention to that I dont feel like writing a letter right now but maybe later i think since it weekned thou Id have to choose someone more postive end of my life if I did

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