Background Noise
2021-07-30 14:44:45 (UTC)

Awake in a dream

I think I may be disappointed in myself. But that means I need to be stricter. I honestly don’t even care right now. What would the outcome have been if I started my day correctly?

If I had gone through the motions of the morning routine I know I could handle. If I’d ended up reading until it was time for breakfast. To watch those movies I wanted to see so that I was up to date with everything. Right now, it’s past the time I would have had lunch.
I guess this would be a failure of a day. Yeah.

Things would have been organized and controlled. Rather than lazy and messy. It would be something I could like myself for doing. But I didn’t get out of bed in the way I’d hoped. Today I failed. And it was probably because of how I tried to sleep. But even then. I’m not sure I would wake up and actually want to get up.

I wish this was all a dream. I wish I did not know I’d be missing these times with all of my being once school starts again. I wish I knew less.

Am I simply too lazy to get out of bed? I’m actively jumping to conclusions and I’m aware of it. Whatever.