Jake 🇺🇸

Killing Lions
2021-07-29 15:56:08 (UTC)

The RED PILL: Trying to understand women

Are women different than men? Are a man's objectives different than a woman's when dating?

I'm 28, I'm at a point in my life where I have a lot more experience than those young 25 year olds running around and trying to "get girls". I know this because I was that 25-year-old. For me at that age all I cared about was being able to truly talk and get to know another female. And, if she was even slightly attractive, I knew she was off the radar and probably out of my league.

I didn't really know much about myself or women. It's strange to say that I was like that even at 25. I didn't even have my first kiss until... hmmm... I think I was 25. I feel like I've matured enormously to the point where I've dated dozens of girls, have been in and out of several relationship. Today, I definitely have standards and I don't often make moves towards girls unless I really feel like we can go somewhere. I've learned that finding the right girl is really, really hard and those opportunities don't come often.

Anyway, I wanted to discuss the red pill. For those who don't know the red pill is allegorical to the idea of living your whole life in a hazy manipulated illusion, then taking the "red pill" is a life changing moment, an opening of your eyes to the truth and reality of the world. An example is the movie "The Island" where these two people are raised and manipulated in an underground facility and are never allowed to feel romantic love and believe that after death they go to this imaginary "Island" where life is amazing. In reality they are actually clones and are harvested for organs. The characters take "the red pill" when they realize the truth and are horrified and are determined to escape.

Through scientific studies and a lot of blog reading I've had a real glimpse of this illusive "red pill" and I think today I've finally truly realized what it means. Now, forewarning: The things I'm about to talk about are very taboo, especially here in the United States. People aren't allowed to talk about these things without being socially outcasted. I say these things not as someone who fully believes it, but as someone trying to understand reality. Again, I don't think I fully believe these things, but since taking this "red pill" a lot of thing about the nature of women are starting to make a lot more sense, I don't know if I see any better option than to believe in this "theory".

Red Pill Theory starts with understanding the nature of a men and women; particularly sexual. For men, it doesn't take them any effort to reproduce. For them, they can impregnate hundreds of women a year, there's a reason that over 1% of all people can be traced back to Genghis Khan. Thus, guys are hardwired to find only the youngest, most healthy and most fertile women to reproduce. That's really the only requirements. Let's look at women. For the ladies, it's far harder, they can only reproduce a few times in their whole life, childbirth is very risky. On top of all of that, they are pregnant and vulnerable for 9 months carrying the child. This is just biology and there's really no argument here. So obviously there's an asymmetry between the sexes.

The Red Pill community says that because of this difference, men and women approach dating differently. Society has changed and now women can have sexual relations without a lot of risk due to contraception, but the RedPill argues there are still many instincts within women that cannot easily be undone within the 70 years since the pill was introduced.

Back to this asymmetry. Men just want a hot, young, healthy girl to reproduce with. While woman may also want this in a man, they are also looking for more security. Remember, they are weaker and more vulnerable carrying the child. Thus, they are looking for additional things, they want a big and strong man, they want to feel secure. They want a guy who is capable of giving them that security, in fact, they want the very best guy possible since it is truly in their interest. Scientifically, if you look at personality differences, women are statistically more anxious prone, this is good biologically since it allows them to care better for their children. Women are also more likely to "monkey-bar", ie, always have at least one grip on a guy when switching to another relationship. This is why women are more likely to cheat and initiate divorce at a higher rate -- they are always trying to get a better man. The RedPill community says that this is because women are hypergamous in nature. This hypergamy theory is also backed up by simply looking around and examining relationships: Women almost always find partners that are taller, make more money and generally older. This is because that man can offer them more.

So, I kind of already knew this, but recently I learned something new, something that is rather applicative and really does change the game for me. Women not only are attracted to these types of men, but women also will be unhappy if the man is not those things. It has nothing to do with love, but instead has to do with instant

To summarize and going back to the first principals: Women want to feel security from men. Men are more interested in healthy and fertile women. Of course there are many overlaps, but I want to only focus on the differences, scientifically, women and men are more similar than they are different, however, it is the differences that we all find interesting, so I want to focus on that.

So as a man myself trying to attract women what should my strategy be? According to RedPill I want to make her feel secure. There are many ways I can do that:
1. Be a good leader. When you lead you are taking the risk upon yourself. Your followers feel secure around you. To be a good leader this also means you must be confident in your actions and never hesitate. Girls hate it when guys aren't sure what they want, I still remember when after I broke up with my girlfriend of about a year and she started yelling at me and trying to hurt me she said something interesting: "you don't know what you want, how could I have been so stupid to have trusted a guy [me] who can't even decide what kind of ice cream flavor he likes?". It's rather humorous, but it proves the point. She didn't like that I was hesitant. I've also noticed this when I take girls on dates, they are always most happy when I lead, I went on a date with a girl two nights ago, and I just remember asking her: "Do you want to sit outside" and she just said: "I'll do what you want to do". So she was trying to push the leadership on me (which I gladly took) but the point is that she wanted to be along for the ride and that I was there to make her feel safe/secure/etc.
2. Be rich make money, have a house. Probably that last one is the most important. If you have a house it also means that you're capable of raising a family. This is where I get most self conscious since I am basically a poor grad student with no money. Girls don't like that and I can tell. The girl I mentioned earlier, she asked about my employment and when I said that I was a student, I could almost feel a sense of "oh bummer" in her mind.
3. Be "big" and tall. Girls want a guy who can protect them. Today this isn't really as important, I mean, generally a girl isn't going to need a man to physically protect her, but thousands of years of biology aren't easily unwound. Girls just instinctively like the guy to be taller and bigger. Furthermore, the girl feels even more safe and secure (and therefore more attracted) when she is small. There's so many pictures I see on facebook or instagram where the girl's picture is her putting her arms in or squatting to make her self look small and "cute". A man would never want to look small or short in a picture.
4. Be disagreeable. This is a rather odd one but I added it here since disagreeableness is a masculine trait. The person who is disagreeable will appear to be more confident and thus more attractive. I've realized in the girls that I've dated that I get the best responses when I disagree with them, basically... when I'm an asshole. This is something that has blown my mind. I'll say stuff like: "yeah, I like most sports, but bowling, I hate it, it's literally the dumbest sport" or something like that. It's like I can agree with her but also say that I hate something and girls tend to really like when I do this.

The RedPill also claims that not only is acting like a selfish asshole good for your relationship and girls like it, but also and perhaps more sinister, the RedPill claims that you don't want to make the girl feel too comfortable with you. You must give off a confident and leader vibe so that she wants you and thinks you can give her security, but the RedPill claims that you should never give her that security. Things like marriage are a great example: Marriage is basically perfectly secure life for a lady. That's probably why the lady always wants marriage but the guy is usually the hesitant one. But, the RedPill says that even in a committed relationship it's very important to be wanted by other girls so that your wife feels like she still needs to work and prove herself to you. The RedPill also claims that this will benefit your marriage since the number 1 reason women leave is because the man get's too complacent and women, due to their hypergamous nature, go and find another guy who they think will give them more security. So it would seem that if you want to protect your marriage, make her want you more and fight against her biological hypergamous nature, you must be the very best man and that includes being desired by other woman.

Scientifically, this does have some weight actually. It's seen that the sex drive declines faster in marriage for a women than for men. However, if the relationship isn't committed, the woman actually has more sex. So, basically, if she feels too secure, she'll stop having sex and her sex drive will also fall unless she feels like she needs to win her husband back. This is just in her nature and instinctual, it isn't something that therapy or solely love can fix (though, I do believe love is an essential ingredient). So, the solution, TheRedPill claims, is that you need to constantly sort of torture her by not letting her feel too secure, that is the only way to truly keep a girl.

Idk what I think about all of this. I've never thought too much about these things and to be perfectly honest, a lot of these things actually do make sense. I suppose I will better understand this in the next year or two. In the meantime, I'll keep dating with these principals in mind. I think the idea of "being a selfish asshole" surprises me the most since so far in my dating game, it has helped the most. It seems to work best when it's a sort of teasing assholery.

So other guys, if you're reading this, be the man. Be the leader, work hard, study hard and get a that good job. Live frugally, save money for later in your life. Other advice for younger guys is not to worry too much about chasing girls when you are in your teens and early 20s, instead, work on your career and leadership so that by the time you are in your late or early 30s you will be able to provide an amazing life for an amazing lady. And yes, you will be able to get an amazing lady who will be devoted to you since you are able to provide security and display confidence.

Anyway, the day is finished and I need to go to the gym and run :)




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