❤️Canadian Cutie❤️

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2021-07-28 18:28:02 (UTC)

The clouds cry too ❤️

Listening to: Spending my time - Roxette
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"It's ok to cry when there is too much on your mind. The clouds cry too when things get heavy"
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Good Evening!🌙
It was a relatively busy day at work. I forewarned my coworkers I am running on caffeine and sarcasm so oddly enough they left me alone to do my work lol. I was only kidding but I enjoyed the peace haha. It went rather painless thankfully. Towards the end, I received an email to my work email stating I had a phone message, there was no voice message and they did not speak on the message, just breathing haha. just a return number. Odd, I do not give out my extension. I asked around if anyone gave it out and nobody had. Yes, you can ask to be transferred to my extension if I do not answer the original call, but our extensions are not given out generally. It's mostly internal use. It's not listed anywhere either. I tried to call them back but did not get an answer. I guess I will find out tomorrow lol. Why do I get all the special ones? lol

I had a video therapy session today. Next week he's starting back in-person appointments and I am happy about that. I prefer the privacy those appointments give compared to speaking here at home where there tend to be more distractions. We discussed me ramping up my appointments as we were making great strides in my last few appointments. He's been my therapist for many years. I was even in the psychology field while in therapy with him. Yes, many therapists see other therapists. They aren't conflictual at all, more so when it's different spectrums of therapy. He was really there for me in times I needed someone outside my small circle. So I will continue.

Tonight? I am feeling a bit down, sad.. So I am going to watch a movie and relax, it's been a busy day. I just cleaned the kitchen from dinner and it's now time to decompress. That said, Below fits the writing I am going to share..

💜I used to always think I had to be strong all the time, that being vulnerable and weak wasn’t attractive.
I bought into the notion that we have to appear like we’re okay all the time, even if we’re not.
I realize now that I’ve had it all wrong the whole time.
No one has it all together or completely under control all the time.
Some just do a better job of mastering a brave facade and projecting strength, even when they’re not feeling strong at all.
I know now it’s okay not to be okay.
It’s okay to have bad days, bad moods, and bad feelings.
Crying doesn’t make me weak, it makes me real and able to embrace my truest self.
I’m done pretending I’m a robot because I’ll never be that person that always has it under control..
I’m real, I’m flawed, but I’m genuine in every sense of the word, and I’m putting away the bravado and embracing the real.
I'm going to have days that make me cry and nights that I can’t sleep.
It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me or that I’m not amazing in my own way.
The people that love me and really truly care about me will always accept and appreciate me, just as I am..
Everyone else?
They can choose to see me for who I am or not, I can’t control that.
What I can control is me..
My happiness, my choices, my desire to feel deeply and love passionately, each and every day.
So, I’ve finally made peace with the knowledge that every day won’t be fun and I’ll have times where I’m not okay.
The best part of it all is that I’m okay with not being okay all the time.
Because in the end, I’ll find my happiness where it has always been waiting for me, one way or the other💜

Have a beautiful night💜




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