Live my life♥

No Mood, Feel blank

I feel so blank today. I haven't talked since morning, its like I don't feel like opening my mouth and speak words am that bored. The moment I woke up I had all thoughts of my miserable life and mostly disappointed by G. He is really testing my patience now. He told me he'll be here in last week of July its already a last week and only 3 last days of the month. I understand he is busy waiting for vaccine but tell me that why are you keep me hanging up on expectations. He didn't even speak to me yesterday and before that 2 days he was out with friends i dont think he is that busy as much he show. If I were in his place, I would have really appreciated the patience im having right now for him. I dont think he is someone who is understanding or considerate. I usually don't compare but i guess R is far better in such things. G is online but he isnt dropping me hi or bye this thing is really pissing me off i cannot say him much because he is not my BF but just a prospect. G is really falling down in my eyes now. when he message he will be like kallu you are so sweet and miss you and bla blaaa is he fucking mad? this doesn't look normal to me but i still push myself but I don't think there is anything right about such attitude. why are all guys so sucker??? Als, am too nervous and low on confidence to talk to new guys and the only reason is my unemployed status. I guess G is just playing with me and
I dont know why do i give people such authority to make me upset. Its my mistake not there's.. this is fucking upsetting that I become to much sincere in relationship but i do not get that in return. I really do not feel like talking to anyone. I want some alone time to rewire myself ufff i feel like sipping a wine by the beach alone and think about life then say fuckk everything everything will be alright.
Jobs? nhaaaa only interviews they want me to report office, how do I travel you morons?
Vacation? mom is not ready and I have no partner to go out with not even a good friend. all are busy in there lives and am sacred how in coming days ill be frustrated, irritated. god knows what going to happen.
I have no plans, nothing to look forward. Ill just try my best to get a job for now at least ill earn for myself.