Third 👁️ Eye Spy
Fucking ell, so the day started well. Coffee in one hand, cat fucked off in the garden to eat daddy long legs. Daughter comatose in bed, no man muff, littering my text box…Bliss! I was livin’ it.
Down goes the coffee, on goes the trainers, fuck the work phone, that can stay there, because today was not the day for heart failure….(unlike Bob the builder who I dated :/ tragic) Off I go, getting my steps in, inhaling pollution, until I reached a lane and OH MY, holiest of fucks, GET me some new knickers now! The day just becomes Glorious!.. And I thought, if Jesus is gonna rise again, todaaay is the day! Because walking towards me is the GOD of man muff. My eyeballs bulged and fluttered so much two eyelashes, that obviously couldn’t stand the heat, fell out (found on my cheek afterwards - awkwaaaaard!) Phwoaaaaaar, that’s power cock for ya.
Sooooo FIT, I would’ve let him pimp me out, nah, course I wouldn’t….welllll? He was so bootifully sculpted my swelling brain was willing and manifesting at the speed of light that the sexy mofo would bend me over right then and there, “Throw me on the salt bin and take me to heaven. I don’t give a fuck. Fuckalicious me with your fucky fandango.” Ah, if only… Although, one step closer and I might’ve flashed him a nipple and shaggaloof on the salt bin, would’ve been a thang ….Well, you’ve gotta live ain’t ya :))
That's all for today folks, nothing else to report, other than my vaggie-slaaash-bum has seen two lots of knickers today, due to over-excitement and now they are sad and bitter (and slightly worn out :D) - fuck the bitch who gets to ride that man-muff all night. Schlaaaaag. Lol.....I wanna be his schlaaaag.
Oh, AND....after my daughter raised herself from the dead, enjoying her leisurable time on school holidays, chatting with her mates, playing the PS4, arranging her waaaaay more fun social life than mine, she sends me this message on Whatsapp. Yes, that's right on Whatsapp while she is only thirteen steps away from me (yes, I counted the stairs) and while I am busy working my dairy aire off to pay for her social life :/ She sends me this text:
"Mother dearest, may you spend your money in order for us to enjoy a cheesy delicacy named camembert, please."
She never fails to make me laugh. I replied, "Only if I can stick a breadstick up your nose." she answers, "I don't like hospitals. Plus, if we go there, you'll end up with covid because you're Jurassic."
Right, off I skidaddle to a book away from this covidy disease-ridden world. Ciao! x