wet blanket
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2021-07-25 16:46:33 (UTC)

Sigh. I’m ..

Sigh. I’m frustrated.
I got my hopes up again and for what reason. I thought finally I had my break and I was out of this life. I’m sick of talking to someone I don’t genuinely care about. I’m sick of pretending to be someone I’m not. I hate so many men. Part of me does miss being held but I also don’t want anyone to fucking touch me. I’m okay by myself. I shouldn’t rely on others anyway. I really love my friends with my whole heart and that’s where I put all my actual effort. They’re the best and this covid lock down has me missing them.

But… I know if I had access to copious amounts of pills right now I wouldn’t have hesitated to take them all. I guess by them not being here it shows somewhat of a will to live.

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