❤️Canadian Cutie❤️

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2021-07-25 08:47:18 (UTC)

How do you know what the right thing is? ❤️

"The strength of a woman is not measured by the impact that all her hardships in life have had on her; but the strength of a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes"
~~~~
Good Morning!☀️
Finally, it's sunny! It stormed quite heavily last night and the rumble of the thunder had my puppy stuck to me like glue. The oldest puppy doesn't mind but the youngest is still unsure of it. I slept amazingly and woke at 7 to do my morning swim across the lake. I love swimming at that time. It's so peaceful. I am showered and now sitting on my dock having my tea while my puppies sunbathe lol.

We decided to head back tomorrow. I forgot about an appointment I had on Tuesday morning. I work Wednesday morning so may as well head back and have a full day to relax. For now, I will just soak it up until then. I have a week off in August I will be back down for and possibly a weekend in between there.

I know I do not write about my dating life on here but I did share a bit about it. I have been battling myself with something. How soon is it acceptable to move on? It's been almost 4 months since my ex and I parted ways and while I am sure he's long since moved on or thrown himself into work. I didn't. I respected him, myself, and our relationship far too much. I completely respect whichever path he took as we all heal in our own ways. Truthfully, I was unsure if it was really over until so much time has passed. We had broken up a few times and always found our way back and this last time was a sudden end made through his anger so I was unsure. I think it was just the shock of it all. So, I took time to focus on myself. Working on the things I did wrong to make myself a better girlfriend and stronger woman for my next relationship. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made that caused some of the downfalls in our relationship. I was asked if I am still submissive... Submissive isn't something I chose to be, it's who I am..not a role I play so yes, I am submissive.. am I engaging in the lifestyle at the moment? No, because I am working on myself to be the best woman and submissive for whomever that might be.

The struggle I am dealing with is.. I am not one for casual relationships but I have recently begun speaking with this great guy from my past who was a good friend but, we had a really strong sexual chemistry. There was never love. My heart still is healing and I still don't have it all back. If you followed me awhile, no, it's not B. This is just a good friend I made many years ago. He's not the type I would ever want a relationship with either but it's just an extremely passionate and sexual friendship. He backed away when I entered my relationship with my ex and I respect him immensely and I know he thinks the world of me too. Time with him was like euphoria, an escape from reality. during a time that was very difficult for us both. It was moments where it was purely about needing someone. It was the best sex as the foreplay was as powerful as the sex. When he popped back into my email a few days ago I admit I felt goosebumps as memories flooded back. Again, I express there are zero feelings, none more than a good friendship. It was more the feeling of my body reacting to the memories and the way he made my body feel. He is a widow. He lost his wife many years ago and the first encounter he had since then was with me. The only encounters he's had since losing her were with me. He loves the escape it gives him as well. He has been hinting about the old times and has expressed he wants to see me again.. to say I am not considering it would be a lie. He used to live 20 minutes from me which made it easier. Now I find out he literally lives a street from my ex so that's a bit intimidating as I do not want to intrude on his area and his privacy even though he would not know I am even there. I can't believe I am even considering this.. Is there anything wrong with just letting go and letting yourself go and live in the moment? Is there anything wrong with two people healing one another? How do you know what the right thing is??
I am not making any decisions right now, for now, I will just continue the conversations and wherever it's meant to go, will go. He's still my friend beyond all the other stuff.

Oye vay! I was far more open than I usually am lol.

Ok, I need to get my day started!

Have a beautiful day!💜




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