Mariel is MIA
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2021-07-22 12:16:54 (UTC)

To friend zone or not. That's the question.

I was talking to pharmacy guy last night. I know he's still interested and since I haven't been clear, I'm feeling a little disappointed in myself. He's nice and I really don't want to hurt his feelings but the needle is still at half tank. I will say that he showed a bit of a pair by asking me last night if I friend zoned him. I give him credit because I didn't step up and say yes. It really isn't quite a yes, but it should have been since he asked for a choice. So, I ended up agreeing to another date, which most assuredly will end in some kind of sexual activity since I had the chance to say "let's be friends" and probs never see him again. He doesn't seem to be the type to get angry over rejection. The gf I know who dated him said he was hurt when they broke off but he accepted it.

Ah, acceptance. I know that word so well. Not that my definition applies here.

So, it looks like a Friday night date. I know I don't have to sleep with the guy. And I know how to say no if I really don't want to. But my ambivalence is there. I don't want to be alone, but I also want to be with someone who excites me. Maybe I'm putting too much importance to this. Maybe he'll be fine with a quick fuck and run. Maybe I will too.

Fuck. Who am I kidding. Time will tell. I just don't want to hurt his feelings.


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