Dr. W's Space Travels
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Space Cadet Barely Avoids Sleep Paralysis
Dr. Wood LII
Well I guess the Internet is fudged again. Despite the outage being cleared, my connectivity still presented issues. I noticed my modem would sort of reset itself periodically, and I would lose connection for a few minutes. The issue is pretty similar to the one that happened two months ago. I called the customer support for my ISP and they ran some diagnostics… looks like there was no packet loss this time around, but they speculated that it could be lingering issues from the service outage and that it might need to be examined at the level of… I don’t know how to describe it, the area in my apartment complex where the signal goes to before it reaches my equipment. I’m really hoping they can do something about it – it’s tough because the connection issues seem to happen only every so often, but it’s enough to make things very inconvenient. I’m surprised it held up so well during work today – that was the biggest worry I had. They’re gonna have a technician over tomorrow early in the morning, so I’m hoping things will go well then.
As for everything else, today was a good day. And last night was a good night. I finished the Hibiki route in Maitetsu, and it was just… the most adorable thing ever. When the credits rolled and the ending theme (“Run With Our Dreams” by Hoshika Rie) played, I just straight-up danced. I danced the entire song. And I don’t mean bobbing my head in my seat – I got up and paraded. I literally threw a one-man party for those five minutes, with Hibiki’s cheery face on the screen as the creators’ names sauntered up the screen. I was very happy that I could just lose myself in the moment (at this time, the Internet issues were still in the back of my mind) and enjoy the conclusion of an amazing route. I even audibly said “fudge it, I don’t even care about the H scenes any more”. That was way too sweet of an ending. My heart is so full from those 16 chapters of story – bravo, Lose team! Also yesterday, the customer service rep I spoke with got $40 knocked off of my Internet bill. I was a bit leery about it at first, but I decided to consider it an act of good will on her part. So that was really awesome. Then today, I had a very, very easy day at work, and my connection stayed strong for most of the time (only disconnected a handful of times – which was WAY fewer than I anticipated). And now, I just got back from having dinner with some dear friends and their adorable granddaughter, all of whom I hadn’t seen in the past two years. We used to go out to Chili’s from time to time just as a fun meetup, and of course we refrained from doing that during the pandemic. It was genuinely wonderful to see them – as much as meetups can be a bit socially awkward for me, they’re very easy to get along with and just generally have a low-stress presence. And their granddaughter – only a few years old – is a show stealer haha.
I think I’m getting back into lucid dreaming. I’m not sure if I ever talked about my desire to lucid dream before, but either way I’ll talk about it now. For a long time now I’ve wanted to achieve lucid dreaming on a regular basis. I’m greatly intrigued by the thought of not only using my sleep time to “do things”, but spending my sleep time in a world created by my own figurative hands. Over the years I’ve learned a lot about it: the techniques for lucid dreaming, the importance of keeping a dream journal (which I’ve kept for a while, though I haven’t written in it in a minute since I seem to keep forgetting my dreams nowadays), the usefulness of reality checks, etc. My interest in it was re-sparked by my love of Maitetsu (I know I bring that VN up a lot… I REALLY like it!), and I felt like I wanted to be part of its universe. Imagine if I could ride the 8620 train with the whole lovable cast, roaming around Ohitoyo and admiring the scenery! I know it’s a childish thing considering I can do a lot more in a lucid dream than just that… but it’s good not to pick something too exciting or stimulating for my first real lucid dream. I say “real” lucid dream as I think I did achieve a semi-lucid dream once, maybe just a few years ago. I remember I was in my childhood home and my Aunt Sherri was there, and I was basically telling her the future (it was set back in maybe 2000 or something), like about how she was still gonna be at her same job and that her sister would get married and stuff. I remember being kind of conscious during that dream and I think I may have even done a reality check.
I’ve been watching more lucid dreaming videos at work recently, and yesterday I tried to apply some of the things I learned. For example, when you go to sleep, your body enters a state of sleep paralysis, which precedes you “drifting off” into a full REM state. One way to lucid dream is the WILD method (wake-induced lucid dreaming), where you focus on staying conscious but not moving, for around ten minutes. Like, you can’t even scratch an itch or swallow – you have to be still as stone. I gave this a shot last night. It was something I’d tried before, but because I’m such an itchy person at all the wrong times, I’d always fail to achieve even that much. So this time, I hugged my daki, which was oddly very helpful, probably because it kept my limbs occupied and dissuaded me from moving around. I remember telling myself “I WILL lucid dream tonight”, a tactic used to stay focused during the process. And I also remember feeling twinges of excitement and fear as I was doing so well with not moving. Eventually, I could feel my body getting heavier and… more distant, I guess? It was like I was withdrawing within my own body. Any inkling of wanting to move was gone. After another minute or so, I was like “y’know what, I made a lot of progress tonight, and I’m a bit apprehensive about going any further with this right now, so I’ll quick wake up for now”, so I opened my eyes and was about to finally move. This was the freaky part – there was about a 1-2 second delay between my intent to move and me actually moving. That was enough to skeeve me the fudge out. Imagine this: the entity that operates your body sort of curls up as you approach sleep paralysis. As you try to wake up in the pre-paralysis state, that being has to unfurl and reextend itself to your appendages before you can move again. That’s what it felt like. And when I did that, there was almost a sort of shock from realizing I was close to sleep paralysis. That was quite a fun moment… in whatever meaning you wanna attribute to “fun”.
I plan to retry this, though. The bits of fear I have with the process of WILD pales compared to my yearning to lucid dream. I really can’t wait for the day (or the night, rather) that I can achieve it. I need to stay dedicated, continue to write in my dream journal, remind myself to do reality checks (I’ma do one right now, as a matter of fact), and keep on learning. I really think I can do this!