👁️ Bandersnatch 👁️

Through the Looking-Glass
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2021-07-19 22:11:45 (UTC)

The Good Stuff

Another stunning sunshiny day in lovely covidy England. You know what though, there isn't any covid in amongst the woodlands and wide-open fields I venture daily. It's like a part of waking, breathing and talking now, I am surrounded by the beauty here and I cannot get enough of it. The magic it does to my soul, my energy, it is remarkable. It puts everything into perspective, there is so much that just does not matter. People come and people go, I am simply flowing, every time reminded by the melodies amongst the trees and the birds that it is what it is, just people passing by.

My indifference leaves me a calm that heightens my peacefulness and then I feel appreciation for my life, where I am now in the present. Every time I open my front door, every time my home comes into sight I feel comfort, achievement, safety. I feel glad. I am a woman that will offer a smile, a few laughs, comfort others, or give them a slice of what they project to me. I am neither good nor bad, always in between, moulding with life and the people that come into my life or walk with me. My friends, my family are loved deeply and given everything they need when they need it, nothing is not enough for them, the people that love me and actioned that in their behaviours.

I did conference calls today, worked and met a client to drop off the plans my designer did for me for their project. And Lately, I find myself out of place and outgrown my position in the company I work for in the day job. They have had five years of my loyalty and dedication and I have earned them millions over those years, but I feel so detached from it now. I feel like I need to break the chains of corporate life, I need to start doing what I am here for. I should find a way to make that happen.

The more I spend in the depths of nature, the more the need funnels through me. It's like it is igniting little sparks as the scents of nature course through me. It's nudging me, provoking me. I guess, when the new journey is clearer in my mind where I earn a living from it too, I will know and make the big step.

After I finished work today, through the summer's heatwave we are having. I got changed and went hiking again, I left around half four/five pm and I wished I left later now as I want to watch the sunset. I think that can be my plan for tomorrow, I know the perfect spot overlooking miles of land and while I am up there on that hill watching the world whizz past far down in the distance, I'll keep thinking of the man I've only ever truly loved and the greatness of my life and all those bumpy roads and glistening sunrises.

Yes, sounds like a plan. You know they say we have a duplicate of us in other dimensions living lives we wanted but took a different turn? Well, If that's the case I certainly have another of me living on a remote island or woodland area away from every one, with my own crops, animals. I've longed to do that so many times during my life, just sell up everything and go and live in nature. Finds solutions to adjust. I admire tribal people, I envy them. I guess, my longing lingers and tingles inside me from my 1st life as a spiritual leader in a North American tribe. I bear the birthmark today where I was killed in that lifetime. I know I need to learn trust in this lifetime, learn to decipher authenticity in people, truth and letting go of emotional scars. I believe the people I have come across in this lifetime have definitely aided in my knowledge of that and how to do those things. Sometimes I feel like a human lie detector, and it's not from trying either, it comes about through sensing differences in their energy and they don't have to be near me either.

Anyway, I am going off on another tangent.

I enjoyed my countryside exploring again today, it is so fucking peaceful and beautiful out there. Love it. Everything changes for a reason, there are no coincidences, none. And those changes may happen when you're heading in a direction the changes are not, but they certainly make you change direction and eventually you see - if you stay aware - that it all comes together as it should. The good, the bad and the ugly.

On another note, I suggested an idea to Johnny, the psychiatrist. If he would like to go stargazing with me into the night, with blankets, make a small fire. He said, yes. :)) I know the perfect hilly fields for it.