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2021-07-18 08:13:44 (UTC)

optimist enough?

is it okay to blame others for the things happening to you or is it just easier that way?
we all find it hard to accept our mistakes, our faults, we forget that it is what makes us who we are, so when we hide them does it mean we don't like who we are or we don't like who we've become?
every self help book says find who you are, embrace yourself, love yourself but nobody tells you what about the things you find about yourself that you don't like or things about yourself you love but nobody else adores them and quite frankly i'm over the bullshit that someday someone will come and appreciate that flaw of yours because apparently nobody can accept your flaws the way you do because they are yours, they are the consequences and results of the things you've done, things you've been through.

yesterday simon said i'm turning into a pessimist, every thought of mine sucks life out of it. There it was out loud, this is who i've become but aren't we all suppose to learn from our past, aren't we all something made up of our experiences in life.

Later i gave it a thought tried to think of all the good possible outcomes i could think of from all that has happened to me in last few months and truth is i couldn't find one good reason to believe the fact that everything happens for a motherfucking reason. i only thought how i could've stayed, i would've done things, i should've said things but what the fuck it doesn't matter how much we try, life will always be about coulda, woulda, shoulda!! and that's the thing i am okay to be this pessimist surrounded by optimists because ik if i'm gonna be deep into trouble they're always gonna point me to the light at the end of the tunnel.

so! is it optimist enough?

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