Emily

Day In the Life of an American Teen
2021-07-13 19:39:04 (UTC)

Uh oh...once again

Leo texted me. He made a new account to text me. I only know it's him because his first message was, "Hey green eyes," which is what he always called me.

I asked what he wanted. He texted me back 17 hours ago. I haven't even opened his message. It's been a month. Why is he texting me?

I wanted to talk to Rachel about it, but for the last couple days it's been nearly impossible to stop thinking about him. Like, if I'd known that he unblocked me on his main account, I would've unblocked him and texted him.

I read somewhere that when you start thinking about someone, it's because they're thinking about you first. He must've been thinking about me first, because for the last month I haven't missed him at all. I've hardly even thought about him at all.

About a week ago, I asked God to give me a sign of what I should do with my life, because I don't know what I'm doing. I don't really know if I believe in him, or even like him, honestly, because I think he's kind of an asshole, but this is what he sends? Lmao, sure, God.

Though, I can't think of anyone who would love me as unconditionally as Leo does. Rachel thinks it's stupid. She gets to call me a skank and pee on my floor and still gets to claim she loves me, so why can't Leo?

He's said a million times; he loves me but hates me sometimes for what I did. I feel the same way about other people. He still always comes back, obviously. And apologizes, which is more than I can say when it comes to Nick. If Nick can hit me and curse at me and still talk to me like we're friends and he's my dad, then why can't Leo do the same thing and still claim he loves me?

How are they gonna be mad at me for talking to Leo when they treat me the same way he treats me. The only difference is that he actually has a pretty good reason to treat me like that and that's because I'm a lying, cheating whore. Not even an exaggeration. I could talk to him without letting him take over me again. I was letting him make me jealous and giving him my passwords and letting him tell me what I can and can't do.

I don't really what to do. I'm scared.




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