My Boring Ass Life
2021-07-13 03:45:43 (UTC)

Update, from text message from crush

Soo, my crush today was replying a bit dry and dead, and she seemed upset about school. I wanted to encourage her and stuff but I got shut down.

She shut me down with "Don't need another therapist"

GOD like your upset, right?!?! So wouldn't talking to me help. Typing that out I know it sounds very very veryyy selfish but, I can't help it. Why won't you reply on me more, like seriously I feel like I'm the only one who takes our friendship this seriously. I hate to ask this but is it all one sided?

I always start our conversations, arrange for us to do activities together but no matter what it seems like we can never become closer. I don't know what i'm doing wrong or what I'm not doing? Am I too clingy and annoying? I'm so scared of her abandoning me, I don't even care if she likes me in a romantic way I just want to be her friend. I don't want to be alone. I know sometimes I say the wrong things in wrong situations but I don't know anything about those topics and how to handle them. Like parental abuse, I don't know anything on that topic. But I have to reply in top-speed. Anyways so I offended her maybe that's why she doesn't want to talk to me as much. I said "Since your parents are divorced why can't you just ignore your dad?". I don't know why but sometimes its hard to understand emotional attachments like children to their parents. Like I understand now what I said was wrong.

Basically I'm all alone, I lost my best friend a couple of month ago (lost as in stopped talking, not dead). I still miss her she was the only person who seem to understand me and understand how painful my experiences. But now our friendship is nothing. I miss her so much and she's probably not even thinking about me. I fucking miss her. I felt so understood by her, and she would always spoil me, and invite me to hang out. I wish she didnt abandon me for drugs.

Im all alone. And that's a fact. I'm going to masturbate and go to sleep. Later my fresh and cool people