If I die today
schedules and peopl
Last night we talked and I told nDea what I did wrong by not waiting . I guess just at least Its done I apologized except to her. And man oh man what a burden that is she's a tough one and I have no desire to speak to her or even befriend her she cant be trusted in my opionion so IDK how I will handle this but its a relief anyway at least I talked to my love. Right now I've been awake since close to 515 slept around 10 maybe even into 11 falling asleep was rough. took a melation at 930ish we stopped by and visted RP after grabbeing a small latte at like 7ish last night so we got in around 8. We're sorta old folks haha we dont usually drag our nights too late since nDea has work in the morning we're on this schedule. 31/32 min this morning running with the dog I did one weight loss workout right after from the Classical stretch video's. I've had all my vitimains today yesterday I just kept forgetting the xr sheild with food which lets face its thats kinda an optional goffy thing I do but I think it's gonna give me a bonus adanatage once things really take off in this mess were in in society. Anyhow. not meeting eAnn today we're aiming for the weekend now so IDK which day or when but its tentice. I'll check with eMichell later and be sure that tommrow's good for her still. no word from lCaro which maybe thats healthy maybe we're in the good seperation. I'm sure she's gota weird feelings toward me as I am akward too I get it we had/have a messed up realtionship and I never did fully discern or trust her and I coulda been a better friend lets face it. I've said a lot of things I didnt need too. Its like i always wanteed to be helped/rescued /protected or "counseled" so regrefully I'm a good gossip under that guise. and Well here's the cheesy truth I should have just trusted the LORD with the people in my life and situations and provisions and somethings looking now I have some pretty dam high exspections for someone who well is me I dont pay much bills I dont offer much. I really messed up . on that note the s'nFilbur come to mind hBet was a true friend and her family and had been graceful and godly examples back in the days . A lot of my older and probally newer drama comes from my mouth the things I say that shouldnt be shared or arnt' shared properly. Anyhow I have this mid back pain on the right side now I've had it for a bit its tensed up today probally the bed. We didnt have sex last nigth but yeah its happenin tonight. Physically otherwise I'm still me. nothing super new. The weather is cooler but still hot. Last night we ended up at RP just bc we had to go that way to put the check in the mail toward my loan for the dentist. Today we are going to go to the store after work nDea wants water. Which I dont get why he doesn;t feel like he can use "my" water. but whatever. I'm feeling lazy but i guess I'll get over it. well Thats all for now the basic update
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