nobody

nobody
2021-07-06 10:15:08 (UTC)

Drug comments/hate/bullying

I’ve had discoloration under my eyes since I was 14. I do believe it’s related to my health issues, my gut being fucked up or something. One doctor told me it was a sign of gluten allergy but I was gluten free for almost 2 years and it never went away. Even when I was only drinking predigested formula for weeks it never got better.

People don’t understand I have health issues though so they just think I’m on drugs instead. I went through some intense bullying in high school.

People would call me meth girl and crackhead. They made videos making fun of me online. One was a rap about me being on meth and my weird ass eyes. One had a boy wearing a skirt who was introduced as Heather my name who got kicked out of school for being a nerd on meth and a hunchback (I have posture problems too).

They also posted photos of me kneeling over with scrunched up faces titled “the Heather pose”

They would shout shit at me in the hallway crackhead and meth bitch I worked retail at the time and they would come into my job at the mall a mile away from school and shout this shit.

They also wrote a blog post about me on this gossip website my school used to have saying what worthless ugly drug addict I was and to kill myself. People replied agreeing there are drug addicts in this world and it would be better if one offed herself.

Someone in my dance class took my journal we had to write in for class and wrote the word “meth” all over it and I had to turn it in like that.

I had my first guy experience….I’m not gonna even say the word boyfriend because it was such a joke. He refused to be seen in public with me because of my reputation back then and only wanted me sexually. At least I did not give him my virginity but I did mess around stupidly.

College wasn’t as bad in terms of bullying, but I did have a hard time making friends I was awkward and tired all the time bc of health issues, discoloration around my eyes. People didn’t want me, but it was such a huge state school I was left alone. So at least I wasn’t severly bullied. But of course there were a few instances.

I tried to apply for a job at a bar and they laughed at me and said “um we drug test here you know?”

I was at the bar waiting to get in one time when a bouncer said “look at you you’re already fucked up!”

I worked in a sandwich shop most of the time to get by but one office I delivered to called in to complain I forgot straws for their drinks and said I looked high and on drugs and they were gonna file a corporate complaint on me. So they got free food and the tips voided.

Since stripping this has only increased. I get called a drug addict almost daily. By other dancers, employees and customers.

Because of my eyes and they notice I seem tired and out of it. I can’t even tell you all the cruel things that have been said.

When I seem tired they point and say I’m about to nod out. One couple asked for their admission fee back because I quote “they didn’t pay to see such strung out girls”

Even not saying a word they will point at me and say shit that I’m on heroin and crack. I need to walk on eggshells on with how I carry myself because if I screw up anything the first thing they will say is she’s on drugs.

When I was learning to dance I would trip sometimes they would say look she’s fucked up on heroin. When I cut myself on glass on stage and was bleeding an undercover cop accused me of being drugs. When a customer saw me crying after getting rejected by everyone they said look the crackhead’s crying because she can’t get her crack money..

About 95% of the time it is meant as an insult. Although there is probably a 5% time they say it trying to buy shit off me that I don’t have.

Either way it always pisses me off beyond belief. Nothing against drug addicts. I know they are struggling too in some way, but I feel like I played by the rules in life working my ass off through jobs, school, college all on my own and doing everything I could to make a better life for myself. And the fact that they think I chose this angers me more than anything. Because I feel like I did everything in my power (and still do) to attempt to make a better life for myself.




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