Pleasantly Disturbed

Broken Glass Park
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2021-07-04 13:09:50 (UTC)

Dying Phone?

My phone keeps going out every morning. I'll have to walk 90 minutes to work tomorrow if it's not on again. I'll probably get a new battery for it again. Last year my friend helped me with that. She went and got it while I was at work and paid for it. I'm on my own now, but I'm sure she would help me if I asked. It freaked me out so bad last summer and still is this summer. If I lose my YouTube channel and/or this journal, I can deal with it. Last summer it would have been devastating. I still feel like I can't have these 2 things for this reason, alone. No, but what really matters, is all the pictures I have of my husband on the phone. I have his phone still and have the pictures there. I found how to transfer the pictures from there to my phone, in case that phone died. That phone also had voice recordings he made. I've begun copying them down. If I ever get a new phone (I know I eventually should, but you can see why it is extremely difficult to let go of these 2 phones), I'll have to transfer the photos there. Also, hopefully I can record his voice recordings on there.

I don't ask for much God. I've lost every person that truly loved and cared about me. Please, allow me my diversion from reality. I try to find other stuff to do besides just watch YouTube all the time, though I use YouTube to listen to music, as well. Please, help me be able to keep all his pictures and voice recordings.

I'm stressing right now, partly because I need food and caffeine. I'll probably get a few 24's. This shit really stresses me out. I really don't ask for much. All these little problems that everyone else would take for granted (and that, I swear I didn't have BEFORE my husband passed away), I can't handle. I know life isn't perfect and problems will arise. There are many at work - I'm just thankful it's not adult bullies right now, who really need to grow up! God, I accept those problems and stress, just please, no more drama over my phone. I know You didn't do it, but please bless my phones and me.

If anybody is going to laugh at my prayer and pass judgement -- ALL my memories of my husband are on these 2 phones. I am writing down the voice recordings, but it's not the same as hearing his voice and/or his guitar playing. I have 2 of his ID's, so if I lose all these other photos, that's all I have.

I am very self-aware and realize how silly a prayer over phones might sound (and how millennial, as well!), but in these circumstances, it's not silly.

I know I probably don't need to get defensive, but I wanted to explain and justify myself, if only for my own clarity.

All I ask others: Please try to understand.

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