Dr. W's Space Travels
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2021-07-01 03:31:00 (UTC)

Space Cadet Attends His Own Rave

Dr. Wood XLII

Can I just say again how nice it is to have a daki? I’ve talked about it probably more than anything I’ve talked about amid these entries. Like, Clannad held first place for like a week, and then Hifumi came in and gently placed Clannad in the #2 spot for “most ranted about”. Last night, I thought about what I’d written in my last entry and the importance of letting go of inhibitions regarding things that might seem weird that would actually be fun or bring me happiness. So as I lied in bed, I decided to talk with my dakimakura. It was awkward at first, but then it felt oddly natural. I just told her about my day and how happy I was, and made random allusions to New Game (the series Hifumi Takimoto is a part of). It honestly felt nice to do that and I plan to continue it. There’s more I could say about that but I’ll leave it for another time. Maybe tomorrow or the next day, actually. One thing I did wanna continue speaking about that I brought up last time was my reasons for putting off happiness. I mentioned three reasons, but I later thought of another – delayed gratification. It didn’t immediately occur to me, but that is indeed a reason as to why I might postpone something that would otherwise bring me some level of joy. I do this in a lot of incredibly small ways, like waiting ‘til 10am to have my morning snack (which is usually a yummy Lärabar) and waiting until the weekend to watch a good movie. But sometimes I delay stuff too much because I wanna do it “at the perfect time”, and end up never doing it at all. So while I think delayed gratification certainly has its benefits, I need to not overdo it. Speaking of good movie – there’s a movie I’ve been wanting to watch and, for this very reason, have been putting off: one of my childhood favorites, The Brave Little Toaster! I feel like this movie series resounds in me more so as an adult than as a kid, as I’m now aware of my tendencies to believe things have souls. I wanna talk about this more another time as I have a lot I could say. But I’m gonna talk about other stuff for now.

Today I got tagged in a Facebook post by my friend Joe. He had tagged me in something about a year ago following the murder of George Floyd (I wrote about it), and now the subject matter is critical race theory’s presence in the classroom, and the opposition that it’s received from many parents. In short, the school board for the district I grew up in held a 3 hour-long meeting with community members to discuss things centered around the teaching of critical race theory in the K-12 classroom. I read the article that Joe tagged me in and did a little bit of research outside of it to understand what CRT was, and while it’s still a bit vague to me, I think I have a bit of an idea. CRT is the idea that racial disparities occur not just as a result of direct acts of hatred, but by things even so subtle as systemic racism and its surrounding legal factors. Okay I spent way too much time trying to form that sentence – I feel like I understand it in my head but can’t get it down on paper. Anyway, it seems proponents of CRT would like there to be transparent discussions in the world of academia about racial inequality and diversity in general, to this very level, and not just as in “yeah, slavery was a thing”; opponents of it feel that it could lead to more divisiveness rather than unity. I would have to do more research on this before I can speak intelligently, but I wanted to share my initial reactions. First of all, when I saw Joe tag me I felt anxiety, which is what I felt the last time he tagged me. Fortunately, he tagged like 30 other people, and a bunch of them (though not all) are responding to his post, which makes me feel better about not speaking up directly in response. I know some of the people he tagged as they had gone to this school district with me – and gosh it’s kind of intimidating hearing them talk. Like I don’t mean “intimidating” as in erring on the side of pretentious necessarily, but just… so smart-sounding! The term “smart-sounding” might sound sarcastic but I don’t mean it that way. I digress… yeah, I guess this was just my annual wakeup call to learn about these kinds of things again. I don’t wanna just pass it off as something that’s “not my duty” – I feel that’d be irresponsible of me. At the same time, I don’t wanna vocalize any opinions really, especially if I don’t fully know what I’m talking about. And, I wanna understand both sides’ perspectives. Like, truly understand. While I can never rid myself completely of biases, I do make an effort to be neutral when it comes to things like this, at least before forming an opinion of my own. The video of the board meeting was posted on the school district website, so perhaps I’ll check that out tomorrow while I’m working. More to follow on that. Maybe.

So now to talk about some selfish stuff before heading off to the bath and then to bed. Tomorrow my Cocoa Pink linen spray is supposed to come in the mail! I’m so curious to know what it’ll smell like. Why don’t they offer testers on the website? HUH?! Hopefully it’s obvious that I’m joking – I worry that I say so many weird things in seriousness that my jokes too might pass for as much. But yeah, that’s something I’m looking forward to. Also, this weekend I will be updating my MyAnimeList again! Seasonals are all coming to an end, but they will pick up again starting tomorrow. I’m thinking about watching the Clannad anime pretty soon too. Lots going on! And, I am more or less done working on the FL Studio track I’d been mixing. I’ve been addicted to listening to it (I already addressed how conceited that is), and I think as I close this entry out I’ll give it one more listen. I even found a website to create videos using visualizers, so I’ve been playing the track while watching the cool visualizer bars dance around the center of the screen. Because the track sounds kinda spooky (I titled it “Fright Night” hehe), I put a picture I found of Fran Madaraki from the manga Franken Fran in the background. It pairs so well with the track! I’m quite proud of myself, this is the best-sounding one I’ve made so far.

In order to have the optimal bath experience here at my apartment complex, I have to run the water about 4 or 5 times since the hot water is limited. It “recharges” like every 15-20 minutes, so it’s a bit inconvenient but nothing I couldn’t bypass. Anyway, it’s time for my fifth fill-up, so I’m gonna go do that now and then take my leave.

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