2021-07-01 19:26:09 (UTC)

In which I FSSW for the first time.

I finally did a FSSW.

I was on... Lemme check.

Another quarter of soma, 30mg of ambien and a bunch of DHC. And I was like, fuck it, I'm bored, let's dress in the sluttiest outfit I can put together, throw on some makeup and go out and see what happens. Even wore my bedgy platform boots.

This time, I did actually find a weed dealer. Funny how life works. Besides that, I was looking into parked or stalling cars, making eye-contact with drivers. I was a little nervous. But I figured I was more clear-headed than last time and probably wouldn't get in as much danger. After all, this was just an experiment.

After swapping numbers with the dealer, I walked about a little more and a guy said hi to me, so I said hi back, we got chatting. His vibe seemed pretty alright. I asked if he'd buy me a bottle of water and he said sure, and to get him one too, with aloe vera. Just gave me £20 and let me walk into the shop with it as he waited outside.

So far so good. He shared his (rather tobacco-y) joint with me as well, and we just walked around and eventually ended up where he lived. I forget exactly at what point I told him I was looking for business, but he didn't seem particularly surprised or moved by it. I must've got noided about that point, recorded us, babbled about how I'd been punched the other week. And whatever else. How hard life is. Capitalism.
Eventually we got to his place, and I was thinking up my rates on the spot, probably looking like an obvious amateur, but insisting money before I go inside. He gave me £65, which was the change from the waters plus a £50 note, and I was like nah, I'm not convinced this is real.

So he said let's go change it. And we walked back down to the shop and I was a bit inside my own head and somehow the £50 note became 5 £20 notes.

And we walked back to his. I felt more confident now. I forget at which point he gave me the money but there it was, and we negotiated 2 blowjobs and a fuck for £115.

The thing is, I actually enjoyed my time with him, once I'd calmed down.

He lives in a small room. Very sparse. Bed with crappy slats holding up the mattress, makes me think maybe box-springs aren't so bad. A wardrobe. A chair. A messy desk with a laptop. No decor. Although I noted the mirror on the wardrobe was pretty sexy, the view it gave of the bed. I said he should put some posters up, and maybe a nicer, yellower lightbulb. He agreed, or said he knew what I meant. I took my hoodies off and my shorts and put them on his chair, and we began to kiss. He laid down. He seemed tired.

There was an awkwardness to it that I found a little puzzling, considering he's older than me. He laid on the bed in such a way that he had to support his own head, until I suggested he move. He wasn't a terrible kisser, but he wasn't great. At some point I took control of the kiss, not to make it better for me, but so I could stay focused, and to remind him he was kissing someone with a split tongue, because that seemed like the professional thing to do.

I removed my tank top. Underneath I was wearing my fishnet bodystocking, which he seemed to like (what's not to like about stretchy fishnet?) and he spent a lot of time fondling my tits through it, and I kept thinking, wow, I'm actually enjoying this. This feels good, physically, but also I feel like... Like it's been forever since anyone has ever touched me like that. It made me feel sexy. It made me feel feminine, in a good way. It almost made me feel like I shouldn't be paid for this. Especially considering all the crap ONS I've had for free.
And yeah those guys had long hair but also, this was a legitimately attractive guy, who actually seemed to take interest in me and my body. My tits at least.

I gave him head at some point. Larger than average for sure, and uncut. It seems like forever since I'd given head to someone uncut. And I enjoyed it. (Sorry to any circ men reading this, but uncut just has more to work with.) I enjoyed wrapping my split tongue around the glans, stroking the tips across his frenulum, the way he responded, his encouraging words. It felt natural and easy and made me think about how I'd always loved the simple act of giving head. When he came, it was kind of watery, tasted... Pretty typical, not unpleasant.
Out of curiosity I asked him when he'd last cum before then. He told me that it'd been that morning. I said same (which is true, been pretty exciting planning out the scene.)

At some point I got on top of him again, to let him continue touching me while he recovered. At some point he was masturbating, and the way it was positioned made me think, OK, he's going to stick it in. But he didn't. And I wanted him to. Whether or not he intended it, he was teasing me. I mean shit, it's the most vanilla sex I've had in a year and I'm getting horny thinking about it.

When he got hard again, I tried to put a condom on. It didn't work. They were just too small, and maybe he wasn't at full mast. Like, they fit the head but just wouldn't roll down. I went though 3 condoms before giving up, wishing I had some of the extra-large ones left over from John, although they'd be out of date already. I really wanted to feel that cock inside me. I even said I'd trust him to pull out, which wasn't very professional of me (although in my defence, it was a "safe day". And some do bareback for extra.)

Eventually I gave him head again, and pushed his entire length down my throat as he came, holding my breath for as long as I could.

We were both getting tired. I began to put my clothes back on, he pointed out I didn't put my knickers on, I offered them to him to keep, he smiled and declined. I put them in my pocket. I felt a little over-paid, but he said nothing of the extra money or that he'd only cum twice. I forget the exact agreements anyway.

I asked if I could buy some of his weed off him, and he just gave it to me. (Mid-grade, smells lemony.) He walked me part of the way home, and I recorded some of that too, without his face, when it got close to my house. I think he said something about how I could be a YouTuber, because of my personality? And I generally get a sense he pitied me, or was worried about me "needing" to do this for money. I told him it was fine, it was just an experiment.

(I mean sure, there's plenty to pity, but I don't want to be pitied by a guy who just paid me for sex and who I'd probably happily fuck for free, especially if we were both not so tired.)

And we swapped numbers. So hopefully it happens again. Hell. I'll give him a discount because I like him.

I feel like I kinda lucked out on my first time. Even if it was for overall 4 hours of my time.

I wonder what metal my heart is of?