Becoming quietly confident
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2021-06-30 04:04:33 (UTC)

Gunna get in a fight

So, the very worst of our maintenance issues in our house is the bathroom. Besides just being old and awful the sub floor near one end of the tub has rotted through. Making people who use the bathroom wonder if they are going to fall through the floor. It embarrasses me to no end. I have talked with my husband for about 7 years about it. About 5 years ago we made an organized list of everything needed to fix it. We did the first step, we did the second step, we shopped for everything. We had a plumber out to check a couple of things. And then when it came time for demolition my husband quit. He had lots of great excuses, spiraling arguments that went no where, lots of justifications. Rational sounding ones even, but I know better. *i* even bought the one about money although I can tell you it’s not about that!!! In fact it’s not about anything other than my husband is overwhelmed by it. And unwilling or afraid to take action when it really gets down to it. I have revisited this so many times with him.

This bathroom is our only bathroom in this old house. And when a few of my friends, my mom, and a few others have seen how bad it is, that is when I get real questions about my husband. One friend, a close one who realized it had almost been 10 years that this was so bad took me aside and really really started asking things. I love her.

But here’s why I’m going to get in a fight. This morning I did it, I finally took up an edge of the vinyl flooring and tore it back. Not the whole floor but enough to be noticeable. A warning shot.

If I don’t get a response from him then I’m going to plan a surprise renovation party with my friends and family. Where we set a date and all just come and demolish it. Do what we can to replace things and then call contractors to come fix the rest. (I know a lot of handy people, like people that have built their own houses, so I have some confidence in this plan).

I am tired of not inviting people over because they might fall through our bathroom floor. I am done with this, it is well past over due and I no longer believe my husbands excuses.

OH AND ALSO I just found an account he stashed a lot of money in 5 years ago. When I confronted him about it he said it was money he set aside for the bathroom. Annnd the account has my name on it too. SO here we go!!!

Also i am no longer checking to see if my ex has messaged me. I’m done with that too. I got advise that I realized it was dead on.

The first message read:
“Pick a fight with your ex, tell him to piss off!
Your his crutch and he enjoys toying with you.” (I knew this in my heart but I hadn’t actually ever realized one person would do this to another until it was spelled out for me).

The next piece of advice I got was:
“stay away from your ex even if he or you think it’s just sex.” ( I should note here we were only texting and flirted pretty hard). “IT WILL DESTROY YOU and wreck your marriage and your life.”

These words I keep in my mind at all times because they are truth, they are so very true of how my ex is with me, I guess I just needed someone to really say it to see it. I knew he was using me. But toying with me, that’s the part I didn’t really get.

“na na na na na I’m gunna get in a fight”