TM49

My History Of Familial Incest
2021-06-29 14:45:30 (UTC)

Time Flies....

Even when you're not having fun. I got through the anniversary alright. I've just been busy busy with work and chores and the usual stuff of life. I would love a vacation but don't see that happening. I also have an extended house guest that while I am enjoying the time with them I am also wishing they would go home. Sometimes I feel mildly ashamed of it, but I think it's normal when your household has been "invaded upon" for a long period of time. I rarely have my nighttime privacy to indulge in my cyber sex life, and the lack of the that is also annoying. Things should go back to normal mid July and I am waiting in anticipation.
Nothing happening with the CC guy. Maybe I should be making more an effort? I shouldn't even have to ask. Plus I don't know if I want to make the effort. The flirting over the weekend was lackluster. He seems hesitant to say anything when someone is with me and here lately thats been often. Oh well. I'm not stressing over it. My attitude is what will be will be. I wonder if I have reached some terrible age where I would love a hug before the dick. Peri-menopause does things to your body that are difficult to explain. I certainly didn't imagine it before I got here.
The other night I had a flashback with my dad and this wave of arousal went over me. I liked it and hated it at the same time. I know it's instinctive and was taught at an early age, long before I was able to mentally or intellectually comprehend it. I know this will be with me all my life. It is one of the unfortunate side effects of familial incest. (Or it is for me sadly.)
My mood is : uncertain. I feel alright but could feel better. I have started back to the gym and feel great about that. Well mentally, pushing my body back into workout mode is tough.
-TM




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