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Dr. W's Space Travels
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2021-06-25 01:20:00 (UTC)

Space Cadet Condemns Nursery Rhymes with a Friend

Dr. Wood XXXIX

Well, we’re already at the weekend now. I’ve come to a place where I’m no longer dreading tomorrow – just trying to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I’ve been thinking so much about how tomorrow’s gonna transpire that imagining it all actually happening seems surreal. Today I took a few minutes to take out the trash, then I sat inside of my car and said some words of gratitude to it. Depending on how things go tomorrow, I might just write a “letter” to it through a diary entry. Until then, though, I have to refrain from any other anthropomorphization of my car until the deed is done. I can’t tell if I’m looking forward to it or not. The newness and freshness are welcoming, but the relinquishment of a vehicular companion is a source of sadness. And of course, there are other things I’m worried about: coordinating towing to the mechanic, hoping the mechanic can fix the issue with my alternator without bludgeoning my wallet, negotiating for the price I want, surviving the test drive (exaggerating a bit on this one but I do get a bit worried about driving unfamiliar vehicles, holding back tears if/when I part from my old car, etc. And then of course, seeing family at a graduation celebration right after all of that. Either I’ll black out and somehow suddenly end up existing on Saturday night, or I’ll get a good ol’ dose of slow living. Which isn’t necessary a bad thing (the latter, I mean) – even when times are rough and uncertain, being alive is being alive. And I should take advantage of that.

On a much different note, yesterday Kristin (my closest friend from the military, if I hadn’t mentioned it before) called me to recommend the Netflix special “Inside” by Bo Burnham. We ended up talking for about two hours, and it was honestly very refreshing. She’s been through some really, really rough situations, usually involving a partner who mistreats her and coping with alcohol. In the past few years there have been some times where she’d called me in the middle of a breakdown and I wouldn’t really know what to say. My outer response in those times was to edify and console her, though on the inside I would feel annoyed, filled with dread and impatient. But the call this past Wednesday was wonderful. She had broken up with her boyfriend many months ago, and has since been sober. She’s even directly expressed to me how much better her life is and how she can just focus on herself and her son. Not that I’m in any higher position, but I felt very proud of her, and I really hope she can continue on this route. She has an incredible ability to love outwardly – if she can keep on loving inwardly, I think she’ll achieve that to a dramatic extent. Might be my optimism speaking, but I guess there was something about Wednesday’s conversation that really resonated with me. Even when we were just talking about how sucky it is to job-hunt, how fudged up nursery rhymes really are, why the army sucks, why relationships suck, etc., I felt an unfamiliar sense of joyfulness coming from her. Not like happy-go-lucky, but just… I guess a little more secure. Keep at it, Kristin!

Anyway, yesterday I watched “Inside” while I was working (it was the last day I could use my Netflix account since I cancelled it on account of not using it often enough… and I just used the word “account” twice in one sentence and now it’s bothering me but I don’t really feel like altering my word choice), and it blew my mind. I don’t frequently watch standup comedy – I enjoy it, just don’t watch it much – but if I had to pick one of my favorite comedians just from the few bits I’ve seen before, Bo Burnham would be an easy candidate “Inside” was such a clever, creative conveyance of emotion encompassing a year plus of being cooped up indoors during the pandemic. Most of the special was him seeing, though there were other bits that I really enjoyed too. I particularly loved his “liveplay” of life, and his “reaction video” where he reacts to himself reacting to himself reacting to himself reacting to one of his songs. Thought the latter was particularly brilliant in how it portrays the cycle of criticizing oneself, and then criticizing oneself criticizing oneself, and so on. I could be drawing too deep a meaning from that but it’s how I viewed it. My words don’t do the special justice as there was way more too it – particularly, the multitude of ways in which he expressed his depression. Wonderful watch, would highly recommend.

So now going back to my first paragraph – another thing that’s gonna be surreal… receiving my dang daki! I feel like it’s not a diary entry until I verbally yearn for my body pillow. Good news though – today it left the DHL warehouse in IL! Not sure how long it’ll take to reach my area, but it’s great to see progress being made. I wonder if it’ll arrive while I’m out tomorrow. If it does, I hope the mailman’s cool with leaving it in the mailroom and not bringing it back to the post office. Lots of packages have been getting left in the mailroom these days, so there’s a pretty fair chance that’ll happen if it arrives at all tomorrow. Oh, and as of just a few minutes ago I saw that a linen spray I ordered had just shipped! I ordered a linen spray from Cocoa Pink to apply to my daki (I may have mentioned that). “Valentine’s Day Carnival”, I think it was called. No idea what that smells like but it sounds like it smells good. Can’t wait for everything to arrive.

In other news… things are going well I guess. Work was pretty easy this week – I’m quite grateful for that. I haven’t been interacting much on The Friends Club server, though I’m attributing that to my anxious feelings borne from the car situation, and perhaps even the dakimakura ordeal (though that’s less so anxiety and more so just my mind being consumed with thoughts of it – I need help). It was a weird week – I felt a bit generally detached in some ways, but in other ways it was a really wonderful week. I’ve also been consistently playing Maitetsu – I’m almost done with the Hachiroku route, and I’ve been loving it. Also been writing posts for my “A Postcard for You” page at a rather comfortable pace. Still playing Skullgirls, still playing Gex, still working on beats, etc. Life has been good to me this week. A lot rests on tomorrow though. And I’ll be sure as heck to share about it once I’m through.


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