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Space Cadet Cries Over Car Issues
Dr. Wood XXXVI
Well, I feel a bit like dookie right now. After cleaning off some corrosion on my car’s battery, I found out that it won’t start. The engine revs, but the car doesn’t start. I’m back to having “car problems”. I say that in quotation marks because it’s like a term I use now to express the absolute dread of having to deal with them. While better than Internet problems, car problems are some of my least favorite things in the world. No one likes car problems – but I especially can’t stand them. I had my friend Tyson visit me today and my car issues were distracting me the entire time. I feel bad about that but that’s how much they affect me. I was supposed to be meeting up with family tomorrow too for Father’s Day breakfast and I just had to cancel. Had a conversation with my stepmom about it, and she shared some insights about the possibility of needing to buy a new car. She’s absolutely right – I’ve had my Dodge Dakota for almost exactly 10 years now. Purchased it in 2011, back when I was a 19-year-old in the army. That was before I even did my very first Dr. Wood session. I’ve had it ever since then.
I’m sad about not being able to make it to breakfast tomorrow… and sad that I have to deal with these troubles again. But I think I’m mostly sad about the fact that it’s so true that I need a new vehicle. As my reputation for anthropomorphizing things precedes me (in these entries, I mean – not many people in real life know this), I think it’s easy to know that my attachment to my vehicle is strong. It feels so safe and natural to be inside of it. I honestly love it. At the same time, I’ve done a terrible job of taking care of it. My maintenance on it has been spotty at best and I’ve had to take it to get fixed for random things so many times. The latter probably could have happened less if I was a better car owner. I feel like I let my car down. Like it was a child that I passed on to multiple nannies for parenting. I know I shouldn’t draw that kind of parallel because a car and a child are very different, and suggesting that it’s a child will only exacerbate the attachment issues, but for the sake of sharing my feelings I’d like to express it like that. I cried a bit today thinking about abandoning my car like that. And the thing is, it’s so old (2001 model) and worn that I’ll probably be better off taking it to a scrapyard than trading it in. Which reminds me of that one scene (shudders) from The Brave Little Toaster. Haven’t seen it in so long but I’d like not to think about it, now that I’ve started to.
Anyway, I guess I’m gonna start looking for a new car now. I know I need to do this and not just rely on fixes every time something comes up, because then it just becomes desperation to assuage the stress. I did start looking at some used cars, but I’m nervous about it. I’m worried that I won’t negotiate well enough, or that I’ll be a waffle, or that I’ll be impulsive, or that I’ll overlook something big. I don’t know. Maybe I just need to go for it and reserve judgment. If I don’t do anything but the status quo, the status quo won’t change. I just hope I follow through this time with what I need to do. If I decide to do it this coming weekend or the next weekend, at least I’ll have some time to say my goodbyes. I remember when I accidentally broke a glass that I owned for a while – I had to say a very sudden goodbye then. Now I’ll be able to at least plan it. It sounds extremely silly, I know. But for someone like me, this is necessary. I think at least I’m considering doing the unnatural and erring on the side of letting my vehicle go. I will say, though, that amid all the dread, anxiety and heartache, there’s also a sense of freshness that kinda feels nice. Having a new vehicle (or rather, a new used vehicle) is kind of a nice thought. Especially since I won’t be driving it much now that I work from home full-time, I feel like problems won’t happen as much (too much wishful thinking on my part?). I just hope I can do better to maintain and take care of it. I really need to start being a more caring car owner.
Anyway, that’s enough about that. Some good news today – my pillow insert arrived! In a huge box with “pillow insert” printed on it XD I guess with how well they compressed it, it didn’t really give away that it was a body pillow, so that’s nice. That was shipped by UPS – good job UPS! Very surprised it arrived so quickly, hasn’t even been a week! And it shipped later than the cover and overcover! That stuff is being shipped by USPS. I’m a little leery about how the updates for that have been going. For a few days, there was a tracking number, but the USPS site stated it had not yet been received. Just recently it changed to “shipping label printed, awaiting receipt” or something like that. It was scanned June 22nd, which is three days from today. Apparently the time travelers working for the postal service decided to come to work today. Maybe it means that’s when it’ll leave its collection point or something? Just seems weird, I don’t know what to think of it XD But anyway, I did give my pillow insert a hug… and oh my word it is so soft and feels AMAZING! I think it’ll be great to sleep with on its own… but once Hifumi comes in to adorn my pillow – pffft, it’s a wrap for my social life XD Not that I have much of one to begin with, and fortunately, I have a few great friends like Tyson who share my interests and wouldn’t judge me if they found out about my new addition to the Wood Residence Empire. I really do hope the cover arrives soon. I really really want it. And during times like these where the dread of “car problems” are abound, I REALLY could use it. At least the pillow itself is here, though, so that’s something.
I guess I’ll end it here for now. In short – the feelings are on both sides of the spectrum today. I guess that’s life, though. As long as I can feel things, I’m alive. And ultimately, that’s a good thing.