Dr. W's Space Travels
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2021-06-03 01:14:00 (UTC)

Space Cadet Loses the Internet

[WARNING: still some Clannad spoilers ahead... sorry, I couldn't stop talking about it...]


Day 1 of Clannad recovery. Only cried for like a half hour. Like Spongebob after getting hurt watering his spice garden. Man there is no form of media that has affected me to THIS degree. Can I give this an 11 out of 10? I kept thinking about it at work… and decided to play Nagisa’s Theme (Parting at the Bottom of the Hill version) on my phone. Dude – tears from every orifice of my body. I keep thinking back to when that plays during Nagisa’s final scene… it kills me so much. And then thinking about the true ending… man… what more can I say? Yet there’s so much that could be said!

I ended up giving my friend Tyson a call today (wow, I followed through on something!), and we talked for two and a half hours, mostly about hobby-related stuff. It was wonderful! And it feels great to be the person initiating the call, which is something I don’t think I do as often as I should. I gushed over the Clannad VN to him, and it sounded like he was really happy to hear me talk so much about it. I feel like at least while the adrenaline is still rushing within me from playing it, I’ll be more attentive towards my relationships with people. Who knows? I’m just riding the high from the game, all the while experiencing the post-medium depression. A part of me really wants to watch the anime soon, while another part of me needs to take a break from it for now. I just really wanna capture these sublime feelings that manifested in me from it. Clannad. What a monumental work.

So I didn’t realize that I was gonna rave so much about it. There were some other things that I wanted to talk about in my entries. I was gonna talk about the nightmarish period where I was having Internet issues. I had this issue of “high packet loss” (as they said at RCN) where I kept getting disconnected for like three-minute intervals. Not only did it interfere with my home life, but it made work EXCRUCIATING. I nearly cried I was so frustrated. Man I’ve been a crybaby lately. Oh but after work tomorrow my June vacation starts! A lot has been happening lately. I’m two volumes away from finishing the Kimi ni Todoke manga. I went to Maido last week with my brother, sister and mom to celebrate my brother Eric’s birthday. I bought like $75 worth of stuff at Maido, including a Demon Slayer jigsaw puzzle. I’ve been watching Zegapain (really good anime, holy cow) along with trying to catch up on my seasonals. I’ve been on and off with posts on my postcard page. There’s so much going on right now… but oddly, I don’t feel that overwhelmed. That might actually be because I have a hill of time coming up (9 days… that feels good…) Also having just finished Clannad, I feel like I’ve turned a new leaf in my life. Yet another bold statement to add to my growing string of bold statements from yesterday, but I’ll ride that feeling out. I think the word to describe how I feel is “wistful”. I feel a solemn mixture of peace, contentedness and moroseness. I wish I could describe how I feel right now. I really wanna be able to remember this feeling years from now.

But then again, there are feelings from long ago that I haven’t forgotten. I remember back in 2015, when I traveled to Japan… there were so many amazing feelings from that. One that always stays with me is when I went to see the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building in Shinjuku. I remember it was like either midnight or close to midnight, and I was just lying down on the ground, looking up at the massive building with the night sky as the backdrop. It felt like time was standing still. I love those moments that just seem to last forever. Had that in my latest Somerville trip too – remember when I wrote about that? Hoping my time there in June will be just as magical.

Anyway, I think I’ve written enough for now. This probably won’t be the last time I talk about Clannad, just FYI.

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