SilverC

Dr. W's Space Travels
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2020-06-10 00:54:00 (UTC)

Space Cadet Becomes an Anime Character

Dr. Wood XVIII

Today is my last day off from a five-day weekend! Fortunately, I will only work two days before I begin another regular weekend. I feel like I used this weekend well – I made a TON of progress on my book and I’m so proud of myself for that. I am now a quarter of the way done with chapter 5, which puts me more than a third of the way done the entire story. Pretty soon I’ll be at the point where I start killing my characters off. I say that sinisterly, although I’m a bit sad at the thought. I’ve come to really like my characters. But that makes it all the better when I off them. Well, not “better”, but effective. I also got to practice my Pokemon Puzzle League skills with the Time Zone feature. I’m getting quite a bit better at it! Other than that… well, I simply got a lot done. And I think it was a weekend well-spent. I’m not particularly looking forward to work tomorrow, but I don’t think it’ll be a bad day by any means. I’m just trying to gracefully play out the rest of the night without sulking.

In addition to all that I mentioned (because I wanted this to be its own paragraph), I opted to change my desktop wallpaper to be a slideshow of females from some of my favorite anime shows. Ah, how lovely it is! Which leads me to talk about something today – I feel like I’m gradually going full-on weeaboo. And I’m totally okay with that. Which might be a reason for concern but… I’m going to voluntarily remain ignorant of that. I finished another anime during this weekend – Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-Kun, which was funny as fudge – and am now watching Golden Time. I got back on MyAnimeList (which I signed up for a while ago but didn’t use much), and I’m hoping to find a good time to join one of the communities there. There are clubs that I can be a part of, and I found one that seems to have a very welcoming vibe. I’d like to avoid forums and groups where people are harsh or elitist, so it really speaks to me when kindness and warmth are values of a community. For a while I’ve wanted to start my own in-person anime club, but that fell through… which is probably good considering the virus would have been a huge thorn in its side. I still dream of establishing one someday, but it’s a bit farfetched. Anyway, I’ve just really wanted to join a community like the one I mentioned above where I can just chat with people who have similar interests. The community fostered by the Astral Shift devs is a great one, and actually I could probably take advantage of the Discord server for it more often. But I think fewer actual discussions occur on the “anime” threads and stuff than they would in ones linked to by something like MAL. We’ll see what I end up doing. OH – and I also bought like $80 worth of manga yesterday. Granted, it’s for a series I already started, so I think that makes it less of an impulse buy. Nah, it’s still an impulse buy. I wasn’t planning on getting any manga yesterday until I made a detour to 2nd & Charles. But hey, I don’t regret it one bit.

Why is the world of anime so alluring? I realize my life is continuing to be immersed in it. The walls of my room are nothing but anime. My desktop is anime. My reading material is anime (well, manga, but you get what I mean). I rarely watch TV shows that aren’t anime. My desired community is anime. My story is anime-based. Heck, my dream girl is anime! My parents would not approve of me saying all these things… I’d probably need an intervention. But it’s so great! I guess one point of concern though would be that I can’t seem to get enough. It’s like a truly just want to be a part of it. Like actually be in the anime world. I mean, let’s face it – how nuts would it be to be on the set of To Love Ru? Rito doesn’t know how good he has it. There are plenty of shows that I would just adore being an extra in. I don’t really care so much about being a main character. Just let me be an extra and that’ll suffice. Clearly that’s something that’s not possible (yet? Perhaps in the future?), but a guy can dream. I do wonder a bit if I’m drifting away from reality, but all in all I think I balance it fairly well.

I don’t really know what else to talk about. Anime really brings out my hedonist tendencies… and that’s all fine. In the back of my mind there is still the desire to make a difference in the world, which is starting to look more like “leaving my legacy in the world” as I do things such as write a fictional story with more entertainment value than life-changing messages. Actually, there is a lot I still wanna talk about. But it’s not something I have words for. I kinda just have this mass of emotions – happiness, melancholy, hope, euphoria – that I would love to simply pull out of my chest (actually, out of my brain – emotions are psychological, not cardiovascular) and smother onto the Word document. All up in that Word document. I find it funny and kind of sad how I was so recently vexed by the situation with the protests and of course the lingering virus, and here I am without a care in the world about it anymore. It became a fad to me, and it thus becomes an attestation to myself of the fickleness of the human being. Do all humans possess the short attention span that I do? I’d venture to say “no”, since there are people who are still doing what they can to help our black brothers and sisters. There are also those who have been allies before the protests even occurred. But I feel like I came in, got myself all stressed about it, and then walked out the door. Maybe that’s just how being human is? I’m more than willing to take responsibility for my inaction here – I don’t wanna just thoughtlessly attribute it to my species. But I also can’t be the only one who truly feels like this.

I do applaud myself for being able to be transparent about these thoughts and feelings. And while I do risk being inadvertently transparent about false negative things just so I can be proud of myself for acting humbly or wisely, I think I can be objective enough about the matter. But yeah – there ya have it. I’m doing well overall and I’m curious to see where this current mentality takes me in the days of life yet to come.


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