Dr. W's Space Travels
Space Cadet Writes His Will
Dr. Wood X
So I was gonna write a lot more in my last session, but I totally dropped the ball on that. At least it ended on a good note, contrary to that one (I think it was VII?) that was two lines long and could have passed for a suicide note. Anyway, let’s see how far I can get with writing this! I think one problem is I always feel obligated to write some context before getting into the things I wanna talk about. But this is half diary, half therapy session, so I guess it’s important. So today is two days following my 28th birthday… I’m only two years away from 30. I can feel my soul reverting to midlife crisis mode, so I’m not gonna theatricalize the notion any further. Despite still being in a time of pandemic, this was probably one of the best birthdays I’ve had in a while. As a matter of fact, this whole weekend has been stellar. I got to eat some organic pizza on my birthday and Zoom with my family for a family game night. I played some Clannad while eating ice cream. Oh, and during my work hours, my mom, Eric and Bailey surprised me by coming over! I was floored (in a good way) to see them, gosh I miss them so much! They gave me a package FILLED with snacks and an otaku magazine that my sister picked out for me, plus a sweet card signed by all of them plus my Aunt Sherri. Then on Saturday (which was a BEAUTIFUL day), I went for a run, made KFC spaghetti (no further context needed), watched Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, watched how anime is made on Youtube, dusted my room, recorded my life story to my friend Ulli, watched Mortal Kombat: Scorpion’s Revenge (which was RAD AS FUDGE!), and played more Clannad with ice cream. It was really dang awesome. I remember before going to bed last night, I just took some time to really embrace the moment and feel alive. It was definitely some cheesy “transcending the fleshy vessel” sort of stuff, but with no one around to witness it, I felt that it was justifiable.
Perhaps it’s the effect of another year passing or just the exuberance I felt this weekend, but I could feel my lost altruistic inclinations slowly coming back to me. Amid everything I mentioned above, I did a little research on Anime for Humanity (a nonprofit organization dedicated to sending free “anime therapy kits” to people facing mental health struggles), will-writing, and personal archiving. I’m not actually sure “altruistic inclinations” is even the right word here, but I’m gonna stick with it. The Anime for Humanity thing is pretty cut and dry – it’s a way to give to someone other than myself, and I’d like to start donating money to the cause (though it’d be so cool if I could donate fuse bead creations or something too…) The will-writing – which I assure you is not meant to foreshadow anything, as I’m very happy with my life right now – is something that I’ve been interested in learning more about for a while, though I hadn’t put much effort into it. Death matters are probably the easiest thing to procrastinate on, after all. But I don’t really see will preparations as a somber matter. I see it as a way to make sure my life goes on to benefit the world after death. And that statement right there is classic cheesy Tyler from 2013-2017! But I think this time, instead of shrugging off the inherent selfishness of wanting to leave a legacy, I will embrace it. I think truly avoiding selfishness is futile. I guess I just hope my selfishness can be to the benefit of others. As I push aside the displacement theory that I talked about and “keep things simple”, having will preparations benefits all parties, including myself. It gives me peace of mind now and will benefit others when I die. I don’t know if it would benefit me after I die… I don’t wanna just think I’ll be a ghost looking down at the beneficiaries enjoying my possessions. Worst-case scenario is that I’m nothing, not even a lingering conscious entity. But, that’s a session for another day (or never… my keyboard’ll catch on fire otherwise…)
I think I’d like to have some conversations with a few family members before seriously delving into the world of wills. I’m trusting that it won’t weird them out too much. I wonder how many of them have wills. Not having kids or a spouse makes it pretty easy to write a simple will, although my desire to put my possessions in the right places might complicate things slightly. Not much, though, just slightly. In researching I realized there’s a lot that needs to be considered: my bank accounts, my car, ALL of my possessions, my passwords, etc. Then I have to name an executor to divvy everything out on my behalf, and I have to have witnesses when I sign it. I’m saying all this as context to my research fruits. What I really wanna get at is my pondering of how I will maximize the benefit of my things. I think most of the monetary stuff should go to my family, although “family” is really broad. Then there’s my postcard collection, which I think I wanna donate to a national archive or something. I’ve been researching how that works and well it sounds like I’ve gotta have some conversations with some archivists. That all got me thinking about how I’d like to make a personal archive for all my documents and stuff. I started an account on Permanent.org, so I think I’ll dabble in that for a bit. Lots to think about. T-brain, think you can handle it?
All of this stuff has me thinking about how I can act more altruistically in my time living, too. I guess doing things for my own benefit is once again starting to make its own transience more apparent.