The little ambivert

Diary of the little ambivert
2021-06-24 10:43:31 (UTC)

new job, first day

As soon as i woke up early this morning, it hit me. YOU ARE STARTING A NEW JOB TODAY!!! And then my stomach started it's usual jumble associated with me being nervous. my chest started beating, if that is possible, and i started thinking and anticipating how my day would go.
I quickly stood up, did my morning ritual of praying, brushing, bathing - typically getting dressed to go out. But being a Nigerian and with all the talks, advice, lectures i had heard from my parents before leaving home, i had to come out to help clean the house a little bit, all the while still envisaging what my day would look like.
I kept thinking, What do I eat? What do I go with? How do I behave for them to like me? Will they be cool? Will I be too dumb for them? How do I talk smartly? Do I look smart enough? How do I look? Should I wear make-up? Will I make new friends? Will it be boring? Will my new friends be cool??? These and a thousand other questions kept going through my mind even as my uncle drove me to work that day. I remember him trying to encourage me and advice me on what to do. But his voice was faint as i was drowning in my introvercial fears. i said a little prayer as i stepped out of the car and worked towards the entrance.
The building itself was intimidating, i had been in this kind of building before but not as an employee, just a visitor, i had wondered what it would feel like to be one, and here i was, this was going to be life for another one year and if possible many more years to come #fingerscrossed. It felt like a dream come true. I walked into the premises signed in and went to my department, met no-one on seat and had to wait for the first person to arrive, my impression of him/her, his/her reaction to me though he might think it unnoticeable.
The first person arrived and the next and the next and then they all arrived. It was not what i imagined at all. They were all cordial, introduced themselves to me.
And then the work began. I was introduced to different people in different department, taught different things, given my job description, given basic information of the office and the job. From morning till when I closed from work that evening, I kept observing and i am sure i was being observed too and I came to the realization that i was just overthinking, my emotions got the best of me. I just have to be me. quiet as usual, or lively when need be, friendly and cute. I just have to observe the environment for the time being, maybe for 1 week, see what is needed of me and how I can adapt. I hope (and know) that these lovely people I met here would remain lovely, and my stay here will be a fruitful one.

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