Nihilist Cowboy

A Sick Man, A Spiteful Man, An Unattractive Man
2021-06-21 20:00:33 (UTC)
image for 6/21/2021 Thoughts: Random Thoughts of the Day

6/21/2021 Thoughts: Random Thoughts of the Day

I had several thoughts throughout my day today so I will add them all here. Today, I took the day off of work to go see the ENT specialist at UTSW. Unfortunately, this appointment was an "establishing care" appointment and cannot do the inner ear test until August.

1. I have met several people from the Dallas area who refer to us as yokels. I have even heard the term "Pine Curtain" made by several different people. What does not help this stereotype as us being a bunch of hillbillies is the observation that I made while driving down the interstate. Some jackass with more cents than sense paid to have at least five (that I counted) billboards with phrases such as "Religious Freedom and not Communism," and Communism=Slavery." This same person or organization happened to have put a billboard in front of my Walmart showing a sonogram of a fetus with the word "Repent." What I do not understand is why someone would blow all of their money on this. One it perpetuates the urban/rural divide in Texas where you are either an enlightened city person or backwards redneck who believes in some sort of Christian Taliban. These billboards costs thousands a month. If someone wanted to give their money for something faith based, why not spend the money on a Christian charity? Both of the homeless shelters in the area are faith based. What about the adoption agency ran by the Methodist Church or the homeless day shelter ran by the Episcopal Church? Nah that is probably too "Communist." Everyone knows that Jesus said fuck the poor and posted Ayn Rand quotes on Facebook for 33 years.

2. Speaking of rural/urban divide, I was surprised about how many "upscale condos" were being built in what you would consider low income areas. Guess I dont understand why someone thought it would be a good idea to build tons of modern apartments next to the rot and decay of inner cities that have been neglected for 50 years. The only positive I can say is that the modern apartments look so much nicer than the postmodern suburban hell that is common around here. I made a detour while I was heading out to see the homeless shelter that we have sent patients to who did not have any other options. There were so many homeless people in that neighborhood with people sleeping on the sidewalk in broad daylight. This was just blocks from condos that probably cost more per month than I make. I dont understand how anyone can say America is "great" when there are so many homeless sleeping in the streets next to multimillion dollar developments.

3. When I notice a person, the first thing I tend to notice is to look for a wedding ring whether the person is a man or woman. I noticed a whole lot less. While at the doctor, I noticed that the majority of staff did not have rings and this includes several people my age in their late 20s early 30s. Contrast this to stopping at the store on my way home and going back to seeing people who look like they just graduated high school but have a kid. Maybe I need to move? I could not imagine working in a place where people are focused on building their own lives instead of just jumping in and getting married and having kids.

4. Some of my favorite places have been riverfronts in cities. I walked down to the river at the park where a patient ran away from me in 2016 (I will write a story about that later!). After walking down the levy about about a quarter mile down the floodplain, I came across a bench directly under the freeway. It started to thunder and rain for about 15 mins and I sat there in deep thought. It honestly reminded me of the place in Alexandria, or that spot in Baton Rouge with a river that is alot smaller! I guess I have a thing for sitting close to a bridge by a river in a city. Sitting there in thought, I came to the decision that something in my life needs to change. I cannot think of exactly what I need to do, but something has gotta give. I need to have more experiences in life. I realized today that I almost never leave roughly a 20 square mile area that consists of work, farm, home, and then driving to town to grocery store. I should go on another trip.




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