no name
2021-06-19 21:19:06 (UTC)


A complete and utter fool I was to think I could. When I live with a family like this. When I am like this. We just- I just don’t mesh. Probably some sort of black sheep. I have too many problems to be anything short of an embarrassment here. Eating. Talk-socializing. Cleaning. Drive. Personality. Appearance. None of it should be here. I really shouldn’t be here. I have no idea how I haven’t been killed off by now with the way I’ve developed incorrectly. A failed attempt at life. I don’t want to be here just to suffer and cause frustration to others. I want to start- no I don’t even want to start over. I just want to exit. No restart. Just end. No tbc just done. I shouldn’t be here. No, not at all.

Everything gets to me and gets on my nerves and I try to avoid it but I can’t. I should really just give up. Or would giving up = not trying to comply anymore? In that case, there’d be punishment and I’m not one to endure pain. Endure anything. How disgusting. I just remembered what I look like. Hah. How funny. Extremely laughable. So amusing I could just die. Right now. I have too much energy. Yet so lazy. Enough energy to think up all this but not enough to go do what I’m told. What’s wrong with me. I wanna go to sleep.

Maybe that’s the joke. I thought myself into this mindset.