👁️ Bandersnatch 👁️

Through the Looking-Glass
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2021-06-18 10:06:44 (UTC)

Saturday night date night 😮

Told kenty our communication was shit (in a nice way) decided not to waste my time any further. But the builder (who is really nice ;) we have arranged to meet tomorrow evening in a nice pub, looking forward to it. He is 39, old school gent, has own building company and opening an antique furniture repair shop. His two daughters are 18, 22 and he came out of a 17 year marriage a few years ago. It's all happened rather quickly with him and I, but when I feel calm, safe and can easily communicate with a guy, I seem to be more forthcoming and open to meet sooner and less guarded.

See how it goes.

Adonis is irritatingly narcissistic right now. As much as I like him, im not putting up with any shitty shit. I want a happy life, not an emotionally charged one.

Ed, is excited for me about the date I've finally stick to going on LOL...Ed as well as Phil, know all the ins and outs of my dating journey so far lol. Phil had his money on Mr Scaffolder lol, Ed is asking about Mr Builder. I feel the time maybe coming for Ed and I to enjoy one another (sex) in the near future dependant on how other things go. I keep forseeing imagery of us having sex together in my minds eye. It's not fantasy, it's like premonitions. I often have them regarding all sorts, just daily life things before they happen. Just like I see 'my ex guy' in my kitchen before I knew him.

He is still thinking about me, yesterday and today I've felt him again. This time he was reminiscing when we're kissing on the bed and I was sitting in top of him half naked and he was gripping my throat. Also, when we was laughing when we played "Cards against humanity" together and he made a whole story out of all the cards. Lol

Yeah, 🤷‍♀️

I believe he is reaching the end of clearing his life of the drama and the reflection he needed, in order to clear the path before re-approaching me. He isn't happy, though, and been quite low due to the emotional pull he had been dealing with but like I said before, I am pleased he went away to do that and didn't bring it on my doorstep. He knows I am stable enough to continue with my life while he did that. I can see he is enjoying stillness at the moment, I don't think it will be long before he returns to me with a transparency that I feel may well overwhelm me.

I'm ready for it.

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