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In life, you're always going to have people despise your decisions, your successes and relish in your downfalls. The amusing part of that is, your failures ARE the building blocks to your future achievements, as long as you pay attention to them, reflect on them and plan out a route whereby you are aware of your past failures and actively avoid re-stepping the same course. Ultimately taking little pieces of your failures into your present sometimes helps you to experiment a little and sus out exact pinpoints of your fuckups, what drove you there, how you reacted, didn't respond, other peoples behaviours and yours.
Behaviours are the truth to people's true identities, don't listen to words, watch their behaviour and look for patterns. When they break those patterns, there is your truth in their lies. Then all you have to do is decide, "Does this fit with me?" and there is your answer to whether you continue a friendship, a relationship or even kinship.
I am a loving, caring, thoughtful woman, and I protect and honour the people who have loved me and still love me. Still, even with family members, I have walked away (my sister). Because it comes down to their behaviours, they speak the truth and show you a person's true intentions. It took me a while to see this myself. I was always so stuck inside seeing the good in people and too involved with satisfying others which is not the way to live your life. It does not bring YOU happiness, peacefulness, either contentment. It doesn't offer you what you need or wants in your world. You have to know when to walk away, and some people find it hard to understand when, how-to etc. Just watch their behaviour, and when it changes or even goes against what you seek, look to yourself, and if you don't like how that person's behaviour makes you feel, or you realise they are not walking in the same direction as you. There is your answer. Walk away, and keep walking and meeting new people until you meet someone who does walk a similar path to you. Happiness will come, will walk with you because you are putting yourself first, your needs/wants first. In fact, you'll find you don't neeeed as much anymore, and when you stop debating over if someone is suitable for you, someone who is much more aligned that will cross paths without you even trying.
My journey on the dating scene has been a rollercoaster, but a fun one at that, not always fun, lol, sometimes a bit alarming and other times incredibly sexually charged. Still, as my man tribe continues to renew itself, I continue to pluck and keep moving forward. It's not even difficult now to discover what to question and when to pluck; it's a simple process and one I haven't found the need to be rude, insulting or ghost people due to my decision making of who fits me and who doesn't. I have also taken the time to give time (not forever) to allow things a chance with the men I select to reach me on my WhatsApp.
Even so, my man tribe of seven men currently all have qualities about them that I feel I gel with.....yet, it is still a process. Three of those seven already have dates booked in with me. Hmm, I have two this weekend; however, Mr Scaffolder, I may well cancel on. His behaviour has changed, and a little birdy showed me (spirit) what he did last weekend, LOL....Now, I have no issues with that, we are both dating, but I openly tell my man tribe if I am going on a date. I just don't give them details as there is no need. I don't appreciate Mr Scaffolders behaviour, so I won't waste my time on him any longer. I am letting time filter him out.
Adonis, and considering his comment last week that I did not appreciate, I have got us back on track, and he has seen the error of his ways lol, and after two days of ignoring him, he has realised I won't accept what he did and shown a lot more respect to me. We have become much more closer and talk every day; he sees us as a thing now, and when we meet, it doesn't feel like we would be meeting for a date, more like just coming together because both of us have a connection from a tender perspective to a sexually deranged one, LOL. Ahh, he is so beautiful. My writing as I discover more about the men changes as I learn more about them, so initial thoughts and reactions often change. I am not a hard woman; I appreciate compromise and that people are not what they initially show themselves to be on the surface.
I have another police officer in my man tribe now too. He approached me on the dating site. He is not a fucked up mess like the sergeant submissive who recently bounced into my world, and I bounced him back out again, lol. No, this Officer is just regular police, originally from the Netherlands, owned a large IT company that after he married moved his family and business to LA before selling it years later. Then moved to the UK and joined the forces as he always wanted to do that. His two kids are over 18, a good looking man, BUT, as chatty, fun, well educated, and ambitious man he is, something about him doesn't sit right for me. It's a tiny niggling and enough for me not to go ahead. He also asked me to go out this weekend.
So I have some decisions to make. Mr Scaffolder, I will not see this weekend now. Officer, I will not see.
Another man tribe member, LOL, almost fell in love with him when I saw his photos; he is handsome but has this real depth inside him. I often see within more than external. I will call him Kenty. So I replied to him and moved to WhatsApp, he lives only 20 minutes from me, has his own house like me, lives alone, humble, funny, sexy. He asked to see me this weekend too. I will likely meet Kenty.
I will also be meeting Adonis when he is back from Ireland. We've grown a great friendship/relationship connection. Lol, an Egyptian 35-year-old god! Is there any end?
And lastly, there is someone new on the dating site that is triggering me with how he words things and thinks. He is an entrepreneur, but I have my doubts about him. He is pushy, but I sense something in him that seems familiar. Not sure about him; he has already asked to see me this weekend. LOL...I have not responded to that request.
I'll have to start booking in my personal calendar, lol. Well, if you don't explore, you'll never meet someone more aligned with who you are, and that is what I will only settle for, nothing less.
Oh, I outed the Artist. He wasn't suitable for me. Plus, I don't want to talk to a guy who reminds me of a grandad, he wasn't very interesting either, and he was far too vanilla for me, regardless of his giant cock - I'll be bored in seconds.
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