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2021-06-15 02:48:34 (UTC)

Felt like a brick hit me 🥺

Watched a movie that really hit me hard. Filled with emotions now because I can relate to a lot of things in the movie. It's about a guy getting divorced. He's in the future of sorts and he signs up for an OS artificial intelligence thing like an Alexa except like 100 times more intuitive. This dude is Joaquin Phoenix and the voice of the AI sounds like Scarlett Johansen. Anyway, this dude is getting divorced from his pretty wife. He has flashbacks of the good times and then he has to sign the divorce papers. Yeah.. I felt that. Then he tip-toes with his lady friend and although there may be something, he never crosses that line and keeps their friendship intact. Again, this reminds me of some of my friends like Heidi. We do have a connection at times but we never cross that line ever. Then this guy builds a romance with Super Alexa and it again reminds me of my past ex gf. All good at first. Growing as a couple. Not ever having to worry about betrayal. The comfort of knowing you have each other's back and that if there is a fight, you know that both of you are not going anywhere and the bond is too solid. The awesome comfort of full on trust in someone and the love you feel for each other knowing you are meant to stay together. Only to find a dear John letter later on like a brick hitting you in the face. This is what that movie did to me tonight. It opened up some wounds I thought was long gone now. But apparently, it's not.

Didn't think I could feel this way again. In a way,, I'm glad I watched this movie though. Shows I'm not dead and jaded to the point where I can't feel strong emotions. I'm not even blaming anyone or anything. If anything, I'm to blame for my past failures. Even my ex wife, she did have affairs but it does take two and I'm sure if I was 1/2 the man she wanted, she'd not have had those affairs. Dunno. I'm thinking I shouldn't have watched that movie now. I'll be fine. I know what to do and how to get out of this yucky situation I'm in. Too determined and too smart to just lay down and die. Just gotta keep my head up when times aren't going as good as I'd like it to be.

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