The Next Chapter
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2021-06-16 00:04:50 (UTC)

Dream Meditation

I tried to lay down and sleep, but the images from the dream, as well as those that played in my mind during music class made their appearance once again.

So instead of letting myself drift to sleep, I got out my phone and

Now.. I already know that Google can't accurately interpret a dream. Only I can, but it looking up the symbolism of certain things..does help.

So here we go...

The color Orange;
If you dream of the color orange you may get the feeling of shaking off shackles, widening your sphere of influence, restlessness, driven by desires and hopes, wanting more contact with others.

πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€” Well...wanting more contact with her as well as others. Yeah... it's definitely a want. Though, I've tried to picture how a conversation with her would go after years have gone by, and I just can't picture it. I hate to think that I would just crawl back into the shell of shyness that she once coaxed me out of.. but. Lesson learned. If you play with fire, you're gonna get burned.

Anyways, Purple or Violet;

The color violet means many different things in dreams such as mystic union with someone or something, magical state where wishes are fulfilled, intimate or erotic feelings and even heightened intuition.

Another brain
The place I was in the dream.. the same place she and I met in our fantasies was definitely a magical place, and she was always full of mystery, at least to
Intimate, and erotic feelings.?? Definitely.

Pink... Well, we all know that pink symbolizes love. Its no secret that I loved her. I still love her.

One thing that I have learned is that you can't fall out of love. If you do, then it really wasn't love to begin with.

The sunset...
Its mystic nature is related to beauty and love. In general, sunset is considered to be the symbol of the cycle, along with the sunrise. ... The sense of calmness and completion are other symbolic meaning sunset have. Sunset brings the conclusion to each day, reminding us it is time to take some rest.

Hmm?? So...maybe I am letting go? Finally...mabe??
But ii kinda thought I already had. πŸ€” I mean, yes there are times I miss her. I get sad, and I cry big alligator tears over my loss, and blame myself for my stupidity back then.. But it's not a daily thing... not even weekly. Its just maybe every couple months or so..

That being said.. I'm reminded of the Haunted Painting (past entry)

When I painted that.. the sun was my interpretation of her.

In the dream, the clouds were partially covering her. Ima call these her clouds of anonymity.

She is the very reason that I despise the word anonymity... because with me, she was overbearingly anonymous, and I couldn't stand it. It was like,???

Ya know how some antiques are imprinted by past owners? Like, you can touch it, and see where that objects has been, and who had it..but you only get maybe bits and pieces... most being the things that had the most impact..

Let's just say... the antique in this is my screen... And I did get to know her very intimately. We shared pretty much everything with each other...except the most basic things.. like pictures and names.. they were off limits. Though shortly before we ended, I did get her name. Still out of respect for her privacy I can't and won't say it...ugh.. Did I mention that I hate anonymity? Lol

Moving on... in the dream, I could feel the sun on my face. That was her. Maybe it was a gentle kiss goodnight...
She always did have a way of making me feel warm and safe... at peace.

Maybe she was dreaming of me too? Might be far fetched of an idea.. but you never know. It was our meeting place...

Well...its going on 5am. I need sleep. At this point I think I lost the whole purpose of this post.. I'm overthinking... or

Goodnight Y'all

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