If I die today
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2021-06-14 13:47:56 (UTC)

fan fear

Just finished showering todays been okay. Slept from about 10ish last night unrestfully until right up to 529. Last ngith nDea was tired too so he was in bed it was dark 945ish and I was laying there and all I saw was this one green light thru the door crack then Ok I swaer it moved like an eyeball so I was thinkin wtheck could be right there I thought well why isnt the dog acting up anyhow so this is the more intersting part to me I figure Id pray and ask bc well you dont get answers if ya dont ask and guess what within minutes I had security and peace and rembereed theres a black fan right thru there anyhow I had enoiugh courage to grab my flashlight then and point it out the door and yup theres the fan no eyeball no creepy eyed movement. SO IDK whats up with all this but it would be merciful of God to wipe out that fear and anxierty and true to HIS character to grant me that wisdom and understanding but now Im at like why? I feel soo lost and IDK I cant see God wastinghis time so to speak on me. I really am not loveing i Dont love him I kinda just like th beniftis I want to love him but to be real this is me. Then theres the whole fact that I'm soo distracted and busy with nothing that I dont live for him. Anyhow just thinking This morning we walked to local convience store at about 7ish we got bakc at 8 anyhow so I walked him there bc I'm trying to get him used to going along the road so one day we can mke it to the park after walking we ran thru the neighborhood the 3 brown dogs were out in there yard.. IN their freakin yard growling at him (by him I'm talking about the dog) so anyhow now I know 7303 is thier house # if those dogs ever do swarm him again or if there a fight I told nDea that those dogs live there. I have heartburn been low slow on energey nothing too much to report back to the wlak thou I was gonna say there was a red jeep that was driving past us as we got back into our rv park the jeep was leaving we walked around the loop and from the other side this jeep with a single man in it came back up the road he did park a few trailers up from us but still thought it was weird so we walked around the dumpster and messed around a bit before going straight to the trailer. Oh I drank yesterday. Nothing supirsing there. IDk Im not having much to say or share and not super motivated to type so this is it.