night's, love, hurt, & all the good
2021-06-11 00:45:00 (UTC)

Sitting outside.

Sitting here smoking a cig and it’s a little windy. I really don’t like the wind. It drowns out noise and blows leaves around so I can’t tell if it’s footsteps or not. I had to get up from my chair and sit at the door steps which I usually do but their are a lot of bugs over here. So now I’m paranoid about sounds and bugs.

Oh talking about paranoid. I might have cataracts! Atleast that is what Dr. Google is telling me. For years I have trouble seeing in the dark. I didn’t think it was a problem because I mean who can see in the dark? Years ago in our first home when we got out nikes to ride around my husband wanted to go in the night when the sun wasn’t beating down on him. That’s when I realized that I couldn’t see 2 feet infront of me so I had to go really slow. My husband had no problem riding at night. Car lights distract me so much and I would have to stop on the side to let them pass so I can focus on the road. Way too many potholes. Lights at night bother me. I always tell my husband his monitor is too bright and I have to cover lamps from my view it I just can’t focus. We got a new tv because our old kept turning off randomly (for years but husband finally gave in) well it was waaaay to bright and I had to try to change the brightness on it. I had it to zero brightness and it was still too bright. That’s what made me look it up and I have all the symptoms of cataracts. I haven’t looked at my eyes in years but husband says they don’t look cloudy or anything. I told him that soon as we have a chance in California I want to go get them checked and he agreed. I’m not too scared about it because I know it would be a simple surgery. I hope. I’ve always told my husband if I was to loose one of my senses it would be hearing because I could just learn to sign. But definitely not my eye sight and now here I am. It’s not that I see cloudy or anything it’s just the lights that mess with me. I thought it was just because our here in this town they have horrible lighting. Some streets only have one light pole and some don’t even have some. Some neighbors have their own lights but some are too bright for me. It takes along time for my eyes to try to adjust. It’s probably from all the black eyes I used to get when I was younger. Maybe from when I fell off the skateboard and landed on my head? Lol Idk but it sucks.
Got to go. Husband is probably burning up in the living room. He has to turn off the fan to be able hear if little one wakes up and it’s BURRNING in the house.

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