kai_elegance69

rants of a lost soul
2021-06-11 04:34:48 (UTC)

Idk

It's getting difficult to convince myself I'm ok I figured lying to my family would make lying to my self easier but I keep getting that gut feeling of emotions it hurts so bad I just want it to end I wish someone would put me down, I've always wanted to be famous but that won't happen I'm not relatable or likable enough sometimes I just can't stop crying or begging someone or something to kill me. I wonder if I'm in hell I probably deserve that, I still hate myself more than anyone else ever could I feel I'm a constant burden to everyone I know, I am constantly silently begging and screaming for help around my family but no one notices I wish I could be the man I've always dreamt of being but like always I disappoint I always fail the ones I care about the most. I don't have the strength to end it all it's just another reason I hate myself I'm a coward it's better I don't have children they'd have a pathetic father that's worthless, I wouldn't even be able to make them happy I've never been able to make anyone happy or keep them happy I'm a waste of life why can't I mean something to someone or to the world I've always promised myself I'd never hate anyone but I hate myself even the people who had hurt me most I can't blame because I'm a pathetic piece of shit and everything is my fault.


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