C'est La Vie
2021-06-10 21:52:46 (UTC)

As the world caves in.

So I don't know where Grant is going, but he's definitely leaving. I don't know if I'll be well enough to see him before he does. He's still acting weird, and has been all week.

He doesn't message me much, and when he does it's usually just Tiktoks. If I respond, he leaves me on read. Very unlike him, and I think I'm done trying to decipher it. I will not be telling him how I feel.

You can kinda just tell when someone is actively trying to put distance between you both. I'll do whatever makes him happy at the end of the day. He'll do well wherever he goes, the man has charisma whether he believes it or not. I remember when we worked together, all of the girls we worked with would talk about how wonderful he was. I swear everyone had a crush on him, and I don't blame them. On top of being attractive he's kind, intelligent, hardworking, caring, compassionate. The man is a total catch.

Meanwhile he has seen me at nothing but my absolute worst, he only saw me stable for a brief period of time. My life has always been in shambles one way or another.

I'm glad he snuck me out to the bar while I was underage though, it was a lot of fun, and I'm glad I had the opportunity now that I no longer do.

Man I don't blame him for not wanting me, I'm sick. I might be sick forever. It's too much to deal with. Part of me wishes I was healthy, and could be all of the things he wanted. But it just wasn't meant to be.