~Bex~

FeelThat
2021-06-10 22:52:58 (UTC)

Coming clean

I have been crushing on T for 3 months 11 days. C stopped crushing on him like 3 weeks ago so now I decided it was time to tell her. I decided to go to E about this.

At first when I told her I was crushing, she said to not tell C yet because she has a few bad experiences when she liked the same person as a friend. It felt wrong but I decided to not tell C about my crush on him. It was awkward when she talked about him all the time and I had to keep covering it up.

I’d kind of gathered that she might have known already that I liked him cos of how frequently I talked about him and also cos she can sense when somebody likes someone. I kept trying to not speak about rhubarb (code name for him) but I couldn’t help it cos everything he does I find funny or sweet or just really important for ppl to know.

I felt like the time was right to come clean about my crush, I couldn’t hold it in longer, everyone was talking about their crushes and I knew that C can keep a secret. I texted E on the way to school saying
‘I’m gonna tell C’
‘about T’
‘Cos she doesn’t like him anymore for quite a while’
So she texted back saying
‘Ok r u sure she doesn’t like him anymore’
And I was like
‘Yh she told me’
She was giving advice on what to say and stuff but I didn’t get to tell C cos we were arriving at scl already.
In the clasroom at last period I was talking with E bout it using the code name ‘rhubarb’ and stuff. S was right next to me and E was on the other side. Sharla was like ‘wait who has a crush’ and me being my normal self replied ‘a person has a crush on another person’. I was then like after a while ‘someone has a crush on rhubarb’ and then I saw she was confused so I was like ‘u DO remember who rhubarb is right?’ and she was like not really. So i told her and then she was like ‘oh is it the same person who had a crush on him before’ but I misheard and then thought she said ‘is it the same person u had a crush on before’ and I was like ‘dang it did she find out about my really long on and off crush on someone or did she know ages ago that I was crushing on T?’ Then I was like ‘Who?’ And she replied with the same question but I understood it that time. So I was like (to E) ‘shall we just tell her’ and E was like ‘sure’. Then she waited for me to tell S but I was like ‘u tell her pls’ so E said (a bit too loudly to my liking) ‘B has a crush on T’ and I was like ‘u could have said that A BIT more directly couldn’t u?’ sarcastically. I just hope no one heard what she said, I mean she was trying to whisper but she still said it too loudly but maybe that’s just me cos I was nervous. She coud have at least used our food code names (we have food code names for everyone and they are really random’ Then S was like ‘oh ok’ and then I kept asking E about what to say to C and stuff.

After scl I was preparing to tell C and tbh I was quite nervous cos I have never told her one of my crushes before. E said she wouldn’t tell C if she were me but I was like ‘well she tells me her crushes and secrets and stuff and I know that she will keep mine, also it would be nice to have another person to talk to about it’ so E was like ‘ok it’s ur choice to make’ which is why we r best friends cos we support each other no matter what.

On the way home from scl I was walking with C and ER REALLY fast cos C had to get home quick so she didn’t miss the bus into town to go pick up her new glasses. It was a bit hard to keep up but I managed. After ER left and after all the talk about ER’s crush I thought that I should just go for it. Here’s how it went word for word:
‘Basically, I have something I need to tell u but u need to promise not to tell ANYONE’ I said
‘Yeh?’ She said curiously and as if she saw where this was going.
‘Basically...’
‘Yeh?’ Getting more excited
‘I might have a crush’
‘Yeh?’ More excited
‘On..’
’T’ she said really excitedly and almost jumping up and down.
‘I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!’ She said
And I was like ‘I thought u might’
Then she was like ‘I told u I can just sense when someone likes someone else!!!’
And I was like ‘I’ve liked him for quite a while and I thought it was time to tell u’ trying hard not to blush.
‘Aaaw B! I knew it I knew it!’ She said.
‘Oh my gosh u guys should totally get together!’ She continued
‘He’s best mates with macaroni (code name for the guy she’s chatting to) as well!’ She said
‘We could go on double dates’
‘Oh my gosh that would be soo fun!’ I said
‘I knew it B, every time u talked about him I was just wondering ‘does she like him’ and now I know that u do!’ She said happily.
‘I’m blushing now lol’ I said blushing.
Then we continued talking about it and I was telling her how I tried not to show it but it obviously didn’t work lol. Then I was telling her how I almost got his number that time and she was saying that I need to get it quickly so we can eventually get together before the summer holidays. Aaaaaaaaargh I NEED.TO.DATE HIM!!!! I can tell this crush isn’t gonna go away. It was like a comedy movie lol cos while we talking about the deep subject we were hysterically speed walking back home so she could catch her bus. When she made it she got into the door and I heard from inside ‘I KNEW IT!!!’. And I just laughed.

I texted E the good news and she was like oh that’s good. Today on the way to scl she was telling me why was happening with macaroni and then when she finished she was like ‘but that doesn’t matter cos SOMEONE has a little crush on T!’ and I started blushing. We were talking about it and stuff and she was still OBVIOUSLY really happy about it. She even said ‘u would be SUCH a good couple as well!’ and I was like ‘aaaw thanks’. She was also like ‘the height difference is perfect as well’ and I was like ‘NOT in y7 tho!!!’ and She was like ‘NOT in y7!’ Cos in y7 he was like almost double my height! Now he is just a head taller than me or a bit less which is great! Aaaaaaaaargh I am sooo happy I could just scream - out loud cos I already did virtually! During lunch it was funny as well cos I just sat down and every time Macaroni came up she looked at me with a big smile (thinking about me crush on Rhubarb) and said ‘go B!’ or ‘aaaaaw Beckah!’
Seriously, when we walked out the lunch hall just me and E she was like ‘Wow C is actually really happy about this!’ and I was like ‘Yeh I KNOW!’.

I really hope I found out if T actually properly likes me sn and even if he doesn’t I’m gonna get his number and make him! I swear if I don’t get his number by the end of Y9 in 6 weeks I will actually cry!

Wish me luck!!!




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