If Satan were real, I'd be his biggest fan
Ma'am-ville and balls
Saw a man at the grocery store getting flowers today. As jaded as I am, I never find this sweet. The first thoughts that come into my mind are, "What did he do wrong or what does he want?". I just haven't really encountered too many thoughtful and sweet for no reason men. Hubby can be sweet, but isn't much for surprises. He did show me a post he put on Facebook about me, about how I gift ninja him. This is when you place gifts in the house without telling the person you did so. Then, they randomly find the gifts. It amuses me greatly to do this. Once I gift ninja-ed on every floor of our house. So yes, he wrote a sweet post about me. Then he said he deserved bonus points because he wrote it when tipsy. My response? "Oh congratulations. So you're not always an asshole when drunk?". We were cuddling on the couch but I left because he fell asleep and was snoring. I haven't been to sleep yet which I will regret tonight at work. Hopefully writing on here will get me sleepy.
We ordered pizza in and I got a small broccoli, chicken and cheese pizza. It was really good put I only had one slice because I need to lose weight. Hubby is convinced I have a stomach tumor, which he says is a good thing. According to him, it would be benign and easy to remove. I am hoping it's not a tumor, lol. I showed my doctors before and like most things they kind of just shrugged at me. One said maybe it's a hernia. Who knows? I just know the scale says too much.
Been thinking, when do people become "adults"? Does being an adult just mean having a place to live and paying bills? I still don't feel like a full on adult sometimes. Others certainly don't seem like adults to me. I still browse the toy section and watch some cartoons. I don't like being called "ma'am". I used to be miss, now I'm ma'am. I guess when you get out of your 20s you are onto ma'am-ville.
I also realized why I dislike most men I meet or have met. Despite having physical balls, they have no "balls". True stories (pre-husband): don't ask me out on another date then write in your very public blog (that you know I can see) how you are dating sooo many women and they all mean NOTHING to you. What a bitch move. You don't want to date me, fine. Just say so. Don't state I mean nothing as a person when I have been nothing but nice. Say you don't have romantic feelings for me. Another case: don't call me a slut when you are my boyfriend and I sleep with you.... only to have you fuck my roommate while I'm in class. Then have the audacity to say me and my roommate are both whores. What?! I was your GIRLFRIEND. Umm, way I see it you are a big MAN whore and she's just a fucking cunt. Next case: Don't tell me I'm such an awesome person when we went out on a few dates (never even kissing mind you). Then, when I ask if we can be friends (seeing as how we never did anything physical at all) tell me no, you have enough friends. I don't need to go on. Men lie out their fucking teeth. Be a man, tell me I fucking suck if you think I do. I probably think you do as well! Most men I've come into contact with more recently are still pussies in my eyes. Whiny, moaning, pitiful. Male nurses are really irritating for the most part at work. Think they are so high and mighty. Please. Even the hubby gets moody and bitchy, which I call being on his man period. He does not like that! I have more figurative balls than most men.
I need to get my hair done. I enjoy it and have no women friends to do my hair... if grown women even do each other's hair, I dunno. Last time I had my hair dyed it turned out really nice.
I had a creepy dream that I had a pet snake that wouldn't stay in it's cage. It was trying to attack my pet bunnies, which I don't even own in reality. When I tried to catch the snake it hissed at me and tried to attack me. I threw it outside but it tried to come back into the house. This was my brain combining thoughts. I was watching the animal show Fatal Attractions and was telling the husband how he was lucky. He had a pet snake that bit him and started to constrict. It wrapped around his arm and he had to kill the snake to get his arm free. I said he could have died if it went around his neck instead. I wasn't at his place when this happened. He insists it couldn't have gotten around his neck tight enough and that he would have overpowered the snake, but I call bullshit. I tried to hold his snake before but he said it was hissing at me- and so I quickly gave it back. I have some weird dreams.
Not much else to report. Jamming to Type O Negative on my way home from work this morning. Realized just now I never saw Peter Steele's Playgirl pics so I just looked them up. My kind of article, it's titled "Peter Steele dead. Here's what his penis looked like." Couldn't have named it better myself. No wonder Playgirl failed as a magazine- his dick pics looks like ones some random guy would send you via text. All the ladies know what I mean.
Guy: You wanna see a pic?
Woman: (thinking it's gonna be a cute selfie of a FACE) Sure
Guy: *sends pic*
Woman: Whoa! Ok, so that's a penis....
"Saint Lucifer, hear me praying to thee. On this eve of all saints. High be the price but then nothing is free. My soul, I'll gladly trade." - All Hallows Eve