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2021-06-09 21:18:52 (UTC)

nice day.

Today was a good day.

Right now I want a hug. I want to give someone a hug to comfort them and I want to receive a hug that comforts me. A mutual hug. I want a hug that distracts me from how I feel right now. Although today was a good day and I should be happy about it basically being the last day of school, nighttime does not spare me from loneliness.

Putting that aside, summer break technically starts tomorrow. So my only task will be to get rid of my boredom everyday and keep a semi daily routine going.

Lowkey makes me wish I had friends or even something more than that but I know that I wouldn't be able to handle that kind of responsibility, lol.

I woke up a few minutes ago from a dream. Before I went to sleep, with had gone to my school for some kind of drive thru thing as a final goodbye and I got to see my teachers.
Nice to know that they're just as nice in person as on the screen (ig I'll include my math teacher this on time). They kinda cheered when we pulled up and I don't know how to explain how happy I felt that they remembered me at all (maybe that was normal idk).

I got candy and 5 rewards that I apparently missed in the ceremony me and my mom decided against going to (bc of COVID) so that's fun 🙂.

Back to the hug thing. I think I may have a problem with physical contact that comes from people outside of my family because I consider it too intimate and touchy. Like, if someone actually gave me a hug, there's a slight chance I might spontaneously combust.
This applies to everything above that too. (Ex. Kissing, uhhhh I can't think of anything else that I'd actually do)

But with my insecurities and germaphobe issue, not to mention the pandemic that we are STILL IN, I don't believe I'll be having and kind of contact for a long while.

Doesn't change the fact that I want someone to hug me to sleep.
oh well.
Goodnight- Wait nvm I won't be able to sleep dang it