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2021-06-08 03:35:33 (UTC)

Too bad.

It's 3:36am, the morning of June 8th, my last Tuesday in school before summer break.

I am lying in bed. The fan isn't on as it usually is. The tv is finally off for a reason I no longer remember. I can hear the fan in my sister's room from here. My door is open. I recall thinking about how I couldn't hear my thoughts over the silence in my room.

My lips are chapped. Not a good look.

Yesterday I exercised but I don't feel like doing that today. That's how it always happens. One day I do something, confident in my ability to continue doing so. Then, I either give up abruptly or after a small amount of time.

My eyes are tired.

I went to sleep way too early yesterday and haven't been to sleep again after I woke up late last night. I finished a movie that I'd started yesterday.

I almost couldn't focus on it because my mind was so preoccupied thinking about what I would do next. It's hard not to care too much about it for some reason.

My leg felt (feels) like circulation has been cut from it a bit or something. It's like my leg fe asleep but I can still feel it.

I don't know what I'm going to do next. Probably continue that show and the other show. It's fine not to jump into that one series since it's not going anywhere. Just ending. I can read it on my off time if I want to. No need to make notes on anything.

That brings me to the issue with my productivity. I wanted to constantly exercise to get fit and I wanted a proper sleep schedule to come off as a normal person.

The former goal is definitely possible to achieve through whatever means that people come up with these days and yet I still can't do it consistently. I wonder why. I bet it's he had my motivation is fleeting. I don't particularly care that much about taking care of myself so the reason of improving health doesn't impact me that much.

Then there's the sleep schedule. I honestly don't even know what's up with that.

In conclusion, I'm not exercising today, I'm reading that series, and I'm going to sleep.
My leg hurts. My knee? It's above my knee I think. It just feels like numb pain.


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