Gentleman ♀

Love ya Dad *SARCASMMMMM*

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy,

So ummmmmmmm... Idk why I'm writing right now, I'm just kind of upset. Okay, so this morning I woke up to my dad turning the lights on and pulling the blankets off me. He told me I had soccer today and I was not having it. I'm not sure why but I just didn't want to go. So I told my dad I was not going. He was mad and made me go anyways, even though I still had a bed head and no makeup. When we got in the car I said it was stupid that I had to go and he got mad again and called me a pussy for not wanting to go to soccer. He apologized almost immediately and I said whatever but honestly who calls their 12-year-old daughter a pussy? Like that makes you sound abusive or some shit. Even later, but still, in the car, he told me that soccer was "my responsibility" and that I signed up for it so I had to go. He said It wasn't my decision whether I went or not. I told him I'm the one who's playing so how is it not my decision whether I want to play or not. I forget exactly what happened after that but eventually, he told me "you know who you're like? who you don't want to be like? You know who doesn't take responsibility? Jeff." For some background info, Jeff is my uncle who I've never really met. One night about 8-12 years ago my parents, Jeff, and some of their friends went camping, and in the middle of the night, he just left. The only person who he kept in touch with was my grandpa and that was it. From what little I've heard I'm pretty sure he had kids and maybe got married. But my grandpa sick now so he was kind of forced to come back and talk with my dad and some other stuff. Okay, HOW THE HELL AM I LIKE HIM? I'm a twelve-year-old who doesn't want to go to soccer and he's a 40-50 something-year-old who left his entire life behind for a new one. It kinda reminded me of something Kiarra or Avery would say. Just like randomly say something that didn't have to do with the argument at all. I was kinda shocked but also still pissed so I just laughed and told him he was like a 12-year-old girl and I don't care about his drama. When we finally got to the field he was mad and we met up with my mom where I told her I didn't want to go to soccer. Some other shit happened and I overheard him whining to my mom about how I said I didn't care about his "drama". Even more shit happened and my dad eventually let me stay home but only If my mom took me home in her car. So fully dressed and ready in soccer stuff and already at the field, I walked past my team and got into my mom's car where I decided to quit the team. I like the idea of soccer, I just don't like how I have to talk to people. It also doesn't help that I'm the youngest on my team by three years. That's a pretty big age gap not to mention that most of them are around 15-18. Like how am I, a twelve-year-old with social anxiety, supposed to talk to some 17-year-olds? They're twice my size and thrice my skill at its best. But no the coach knows I'm the youngest so instead of letting me play defense or midfield like I prefer he makes me play offense so that I can score a goal. He tries to secretly make my teammates pass to me but #1 I know he does it, and #2 imagine how much pressure that puts on me?! Like it's stressful and I can't even score a normal goal for the life of me. Anyways, in the car, my mom asked me why I didn't want to go and I told her that people are scary and blah blah blah. And then she told me that she made up her mind and I'm definitely seeing a counselor and maybe getting some pills or whatever for it -_-. All in all, pretty sucky day so far but later I did get to go to Avery's birthday and make some AMAZING homemade pasta noodles with garlic butter sauce so it got better. :p

~Gentleman