Aimeele

The Next Chapter
Ad 2:
Digital Ocean
Providing developers and businesses with a reliable, easy-to-use cloud computing platform of virtual servers (Droplets), object storage ( Spaces), and more.
2021-06-06 12:54:01 (UTC)

Anxiety

I called into work today because... well basically I know it's going to be a bad night, and no one will be there to help me out. It's a shit crew..

My friend already warned me that I should call in, so I'm taking the advice.

And it's not that its a hard job.. Even though I haven't been really trained on the station, its pretty much just fries, shrimp, and hushpuppies, but..physically I can't go as fast as the orders come in... I've tried.

When tickets start piling up, I feel like I'm failing; So, I try to go faster...make a shit ton of mistakes, which makes me feel worse.

Then I start slowing down, and by that time I'm so far behind that I...give up.

My anxiety rages inside me, I start crying like a baby..which makes me self conscious and insecure, and I end up hating myself.

So, I called in saying that I am stuck in San Antonio having car problems...

Really I am at home, still in my pajamas halfway watching paint tutorials on YouTube.

But I still have the anxiety about calling in. Or maybe its that I lied? I don't like lies, nor do I like calling in.

But if I would have said that I'm not feeling well, they would have required a doctor's note...

And I can't just call in telling them that I just don't wanna work. Lol. Car trouble seems to be the only option.

My boss already knows about my anxiety on the line and promised that next week he will take me off.
Tonight should be my last shift. Probably should have just gone in and tried to deal... but mentally, I just can't.

Luckily, we are so short on crew that everyone is working 60 hours a week, and they can't afford to fire me...lol.

That being said, I wish I could find a less stressful job.


Ad:0
https://monometric.io/ - Modern SaaS monitoring for your servers, cloud and services